I'm Yours {Sequel to Make Me}

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

~

Feliciano had to lead Ludwig out onto the front porch because he couldn't seem to collect himself. He watched the German grip the wooden railing and breath heavily as he desperately tried to cease his tears. He walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, kissing the back of his neck before resting his forehead on his back.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly. "Hey, its okay. You can tell me what's going on, Ludwig."

Feliciano moved to stand beside him and took his trembling hand, kissing the back and nuzzling his face into his palm. He felt his heart break at the tears that silently streamed down Ludwig's face. Reaching up, he brushed them away as he attempted to soothe his fiancé.

"Talk to me." He whispered, coaxing him to voice his feelings.

"I screw it up." He finally spoke. "Every time. I thought this was a new chance, Feliciano. I fucked up my relationship with my family in Germany and the only one that will talk to me is Gilbert. I was stupid and I did drugs at the mere age of fifteen and I was cast out, shunned away. I broke those bonds, Feli. I love you and I love your family as if they were my own and they soon will be." The German took his hand and ran his thumb over the ring on his finger. "But I don't want to fuck this up too... And I'm scared I will."

Feliciano looked up at the tall man. He could see worry evident in his features, fear etched into his face. He felt tears prick at his eyes as Ludwig sobbed again and fell to his knees, hugging his legs as he cried. The Italian bit his lip and stroked his hair softly, comforting him.

"You won't mess it up." He whispered. "You're not doing drugs and you don't have a drinking problem. My family is just very religious, Ludwig. You don't have to worry about their lectures because in the end, its good intentions and they don't really mind as long as we're happy."

Ludwig was silent. He just squeezed his eyes closed and buried his face in his hands. He screamed into gritted teeth and shook his head.

"I-I'm sorry, Feliciano..." He sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

The Italian drew his eyebrows together and stared at his fiancé who just kept muttering the same, two worded apology. He knelt down in front of him and took one of his hands, lacing his fingers with Ludwig's trembling ones.

"Why are you apologizing?" Feliciano tilted his chin slightly so he could look into his cobalt eyes.

Ludwig bit his lip and squeezed his hand gently before he spoke. "You'll hate me."

"I'll never hate you, Ludwig. Never." He assured him.

The German took a shaky breath and braced himself for the worst.

"I still have drugs in my apartment."

~

Feliciano squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hands into fists. He could hear Ludwig holding back a sob beside him and he just grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly to let him know that everything would be okay.

"You're not using them, are you?" The Italian asked, gripping his hand.

"No." Ludwig answered immediately, the desperation in his voice was evident. "I don't do that stuff anymore! I hate it. I-I just can't get rid of them and I don't know why..."

"Ludwig, you have to throw them away before they tempt you." Feliciano whispered.

"I-I can't..." His voice cracked as he responded. "I just can't let go."

"I'll help you. I promise you, I'll help and we can do it together. Okay?" Feliciano kissed his forehead.

Ludwig didn't nod. He just stared into the Italian's eyes and pleaded for him to understand that he was being torn. The German didn't know why it was so hard to get rid of something that he regretted so much but it just seemed so hard. He leaned forward and buried his face in his fiancé's chest, hiding the tears that streamed down his face.

Hiding my shame.

~

Feliciano had eventually managed to calm Ludwig down enough to take him back inside. He'd been combing his fingers through the German's blonde locks as they cuddled on the veranda when Ludwig placed a hand over his, running his fingers over the silver band on his ring finger.

"Forever." He'd whispered. "Infinite, just like this circle. That's how long I'll love you."

Feliciano traced a circle around the circumference of Ludwig's finger and imagined a gold band around it.

"I don't want to wait. I wish we could get married right now. But then again, I want to wait and make sure the time is right." The Italian mused quietly.

Ludwig's tears had finally ceased and he was just nuzzling his face into the crook of Feliciano's neck. He closed his eyes and could feel sleep washing over him. Crying always exhausted him and now he just wanted to go to his dream land.

"Yeah..." He mumbled, replying to his previous statement. "But at this point in time, I'm tired."

"Let's get you to bed." Feliciano helped him stand up and walked him inside.

Dave and Anna glanced at them but then looked away, feeling like they were intruding. Feliciano lead him upstairs to the bedroom where Ludwig stumbled over to the bed and flopped down. The Italian smiled as he closed the door and lay down beside him. Ludwig turned to face him and shifted so his ear was pressed to his fiancé's chest, listening to his steady heart best as he wrapped his arms around him and intertwined their legs.

"G'night." He mumbled, falling into a deep sleep.

~

To be continued...