How Should I Hate You?(boyxboy)

Midorima

Kuroko P.O.V

I woke up with my eyes all red from crying last night. I didn't feel like going to school either. I stayed up thinking about what happened yesterday and I get so embarrassed.  I didn't want to see anyone.  I wanted to be with Midorima, but I could never tell him what happened. He would be mad at me. I felt so used up. 
I got up and went to the bathroom. I saw myself in the mirror. I felt so ashamed at myself. I didn't know what to do.I was so weak. I dragged myself all the way towards the closet and grabbed my uniform. I had to go to school. I had to face Akashi sooner or later.
I don't understand? Why did this happen to me? Was it because I started to develop feelings for Midorima? Was it because I'm not good enough for him? I don't understand?
All that thinking got me late to class but the teacher didn't seem to notice. I couldn't concentrate nor did I wanted too. All I wanted right now was to see Midorima.

I messaged him to meet me during lunch at the rooftop. He took awhile to get here. I was anxious. When he came I went up to him and hugged him.
"H-hey!? What are you doing? " He asked
I didn't know what to say. I felt calmed and embarrassed. I couldn't look at him. 
"Hey, are you okay?"  He asked concerned
I hold him tighter.
He grabbed my face with both of his hands.
"Your eyes look sad" he said.
"Have you been crying?" he asked
I shook my head. "No"
He didn't say anything.
We sat down and it was quiet. Too quiet.
I didn't know what to say, and I bet he didn't know either.
"Did something happened yesterday? He said while chewing his food.

I couldn't even eat.
...."no." 

"Stop lying Kuroko." 

 It hurt me more when he said it out loud.

..." Alright, if you don't want to tell me that's fine, but just so you know we are in this together." Midorima said. Looking away all flushed.

He then pushed his glasses up and kept eating.
I went up to him and kissed him.
"H-hey! I'm eating" He blushed.
"Thank you Midorima" I said.
"Yeah, yeah now eat up. We have a practice today after school."

"Yeah" I said, forgetting the fact that I needed to get my act together.

Midorima P.O.V
When I got the message to meet up with Kuroko at the rooftop for lunch. I was concerned. I wanted to keep this a secret away from the teammates as possible. I didn't want this to become a problem with Akashi. I can never guess what he is thinking. I remember when he put Kuroko in the team. He told me specifically that he was going to be of good use to the team, now he is involved with me. I felt as if it was meant to be.  I never liked him to begin with. He was no use at all. He was just there to fill up space.  

So how? How did I end up in this situation with him? Why do I have these thoughts about him? 

Lunch was over and kuroko and I went back our separate ways . I sat in my chair and got ready for the next subject. I thought about how to deal with the situation that Akashi now knows about my relationship with Kuroko.  I knew Akashi wasn't going to accept it. I knew things were only going to get difficult from here on out.  We weren't going out. I should have ended things when things went over board, but I couldn't.  Now I have no idea what to do. The main question here is do I like Kuroko?  

When I'm with him, I can't help but think about touching him. His soft lips, the way he smelt, the erotic sounds he makes.  Was I just lonely and desperate?  What went over me? I had everything over controlled. Now it seems that I can't focus on anything, but him. Now I have to chose. I know I can't help myself from feeling this way, but it will all be worth it. The best choice from here on is obvious.  I must tell him sooner than later.