Broken- And Fixed Again- (A Jamilton Fanfic)

Chapter 30: Humming

//TW: none??\\

You all deserve a bunch of chapters of fluff before it all goes to shit.

Also happy holidays!!

Thomas

It's remarkable, almost, how swiftly everything changes. I look back on the person I was mere months ago and I do not recognize him. He is a shadow, I am starlight. He is silence, I am the complex composition of an endless song.

All those eons ago, I feared touch. I feared warmth and happiness and the smallest resemblance of love because such a temporary and bending thing is almost always guaranteed to change. Quicker than a flash of lightning, and a thousand more times destructive. And what had once filled the world with a brilliant light would inevitably become corrupted and dark and hopeless, leaving me blind, leaving me as little more than a lost sailor with the threat of drowning rising as every wave swallowed me under. I feared the very person I was supposed to trust more than anyone else in the world, the only person I was supposed to have when the sky turned grim, clouded over by an oncoming storm. But most of all, I feared myself. I feared the little things that made me me simply because that was what I was told to do. So fearing it, I hid from the world.

But now?

Now, everything was different in the most marvelous of ways.

I curled up against Alexander's chest, smiling as he wrapped his arms around me and held me closer. His lips grazed the side of my forehead lightly, perhaps incidental, but no less meaningful. I should have been watching the movie but all I could focus on was Alexander and the way his fingers lightly tapped against my bare arm. Was that his heartbeat resounding through my ear, steady as the rhythm of a drum, or was it my own? Did it even matter at this point? I pressed myself closer, the most delightful of shivers traveling down my skin wherever he brushed against me, something so foreign yet familiar at the same time.

God, I adored it when he held me. When he touched me. When he kept me close and promised to never let go. Simply put, I adored him.

The same movie we had watched almost a hundred times before unfolded before us, somehow completely new and completely different despite all the prior times it had already been ours. Even though I had the dialogue committed to memory at this point, each moment was a completely new experience. It was a romance so timeless, filled with a sweet, unadulterated purity. A story with a happy ending. The kind of fantastical life I had always wanted for myself.

I smiled up at Alexander, slid my hand against his cheek, and brought his face down so our lips were perhaps a few inches apart. My heart beat loudly in my ears as I waited, the scent and the feeling of him washing over me. He closed the distance after a second's worth of hesitation, and let his mouth land against mine.

I shifted, allowing him to press me against the arm of the couch, bringing my legs up around him. His lips turned upwards into a grin against mine as he kissed me deeply but not roughly, touching me in all the right ways. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me so I could soak in all of the stardust that made him who he was. His thumb brushed against my cheek as he cupped my face, pushing me back against the couch, his entire body pressed up against mine. There was nowhere to go but there was nowhere else I'd rather be. I was perfectly content being in his arms, being his.

Alexander kissed for the sake of it, taking his time and pouring in a thousand different moments that could be ours. He held me close and held me tight, until there was nothing left but the two of us. I was painfully aware of him, of the space he encompassed, and the sound of my heart rushing in my ears as he kissed slowly, softly, yet filled with an unmatched passion.