Broken- And Fixed Again- (A Jamilton Fanfic)

Chapter 16: Thomas's Birthday Surprise (part 2)

//TW: swearing, verbal and physical abuse, alcohol\\

I'm only like three weeks late but whatever.

(Edit: oop better make that a month ... )

Thomas

My breath stolen away yet again, I stood there in the middle of a room I did not belong in, my entire being like a character from the wrong story. All I could do was stare at the stark merging of two separate realities, the perfect moment where the seams fused together to create something beautiful, but completely out of place. A silence, a heavy silence, fell across the room as I took it all in, drinking in the brightly pigmented hues of the flowers and the overpoweringly sweet scent of cake batter. I covered my mouth, the lights blurring in the wake of my tears as I took in the sight of it.

The sight of them, standing there right in front of me, their smiles quickly fading under those lights they had painstakingly hung up, quick to be replaced by frowns. I could feel the tension that floated from each expression as they waited, waited on me to say something I never would be able to. Doubt seeped in the air that lingered between us, Lafayette gripping my arm and squeezing in a way that was not as painful as it was apologetic.

For a moment, I refused to let myself focus on anything but the blurring fairy lights, the spectacular bursts of a heavenly shine bottled up in delicate glass that should not have been strong enough to contain them. They bathed the room in a soft, golden glow, unveiling the doubt, the dread, the little inklings of disappointment that had been dwelling in the deepest parts of my heart for the past couple of hours. And they exterminated them, each and every one, and left me feeling a whole lot lighter, a whole lot more capable of letting myself fall through the open, welcoming air.

The lights made the flowers gleam, their petals thriving under that nurturing gold cast upon them. The vases that held the sunset roses and the indigo sky irises and the morning dawn marigolds glittered in the light as well. Such a sweet aroma drifted from the table placed in the wall, the smell of food, of cake, of delicacies I had deprived myself of for so long, and it made my mouth water just thinking about it. A beautiful melody played through the air, something foreign but totally familiar at the same time.

And all I could do was stand there, my hands covering my mouth to keep my shock from bubbling through, eyes tearing up in the absolute dumbest of ways as I took in the sight of everything they had done. How long had this taken? Did they truly deem me worth their time, their effort?

I stepped forward, into the light. Each face came into view.

"Thomas?" Alexander asked after the deplorable silence had persisted for far too long, residing in a space it was never meant to exist within. Alexander stepped towards me, his hand out as if to touch me, to steady me, that horrible note of fear riding high in his voice. "Thomas...are you okay? W-was this too...was this too much? I—"

"I love you guys," I murmured, just barely able to get the words out before the tears powered over me yet again. And before I knew it, I was laughing into my hands, allowing a fully relieved Alexander to lead me through the room, past the beautiful world, the wonderful fracture in time they had created for me, and sit me down on the couch. I gasped, for returning to that couch was like returning to my home, my past. It was like settling down in a flower bed, right after the early spring had chased off the winter chill, and reacquainting myself with the flowers and the new buds of life that poked their heads out of the ground. I was home, for as much as home could be considered a place rather than a feeling.