Storms {z.m.}

Chapter 14

Chapter 14 - Zayn

My head was spinning with thoughts of Perrie the second I hung up the phone. The whole of our relationship I spent all of my time wondering how I had gotten a girl as beautiful and wonderful as Perrie when I was just a nobody from Bradford. I never could comprehend how she could be satisfied with someone like me when she could have her pick of footballers or even billionaires. That was the only thing that kept me from proposing to her. I always expected her to tell me it was all for publicity, and that she didn't really love me. That one day she would wake up, put her clothes on and never come back.

I knew I wanted to marry her three months into our relationship. One Direction was on a short hiatus that coincided with Little Mix's so Perrie and I spent every minute of those three weeks together in my new apartment in London. I was surprised by how well we got along. We never pushed eachother's buttons, she didn't have any annoying habits, we liked the same movies, a lot of the same music, and we were both obsessed with Chinese takeout. I felt as if we were two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that had been put in different boxes but were finally reunited.

Her hand fit in mine like it was made just for me. I immediately knew that it was meant to be.

It was never easy for me to express my feelings, but with her I knew that it would be different. All of the little things that made me love her would make another girl laugh, but I knew that Perrie would smile and kiss me.

"I love you," I told her one night as we were eating chow mein out of takeout containers watching Sherlock. I looked into her eyes as she they quickly widened. She turned her head toward me, a full bunch of noodles sticking out of her mouth and her eyes wide as saucers. She is so adorable! She chuckled as she sucked in the remainder of the noodles into her mouth. I smiled so wide I could feel my cheeks begin to hurt. I couldn't believe I'd actually done it. I always hid my feelings from people, including myself, because I didn't want to become attached to someone. I knew that as soon as you handed someone your heart, they had the power to break it at any second and that terrified me. Because of this I never let myself fall in love before.

But with Perrie it was different. Although the insecure side of me still believed that Perrie dating me was some sort of sick joke or publicity stunt, my heart told me that this was for real. I had always been able to control what my heart told me, but this was the first time that I couldn't contain it. I loved her and I needed to tell her so that I wouldn't lose her. I didn't know I'd do if I lost her.

"I love you too," Perrie said after about a minute of silence. My body flooded with a comforting warmth I'd never felt before. It had taken me a year to say, but once I finally decided to listen to my heart it had paid off. I was crazy about this girl, and for the first time ever I realized that she was crazy about me too, and I believed it with the whole of my being.

Ever since that incredible night I felt more confident. Not only about the relationship, but about myself. I was the kind of a guy that a girl like Perrie could love. There was a little pep in my step, I walked a little taller, and I even started taking more risks with my voice when recording the new album. I felt like a brand new guy. A brand new man.

Suddenly thoughts of Christine invaded my mind. Had a similar experience caused her to become a brand new girl? She wasn't the same Christine I said goodbye to four years ago, that's for sure.

Why am I even thinking about Christine?

I let out a frustrated grunt and kicked a stack of CDs next to my bed. Just then I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door. I knew exactly who it was.

"Princess," I said as I swung the door open. I looked down to see my little sister Safaa. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes. I quickly wiped my tears and pretended as I everything was fine. I didn't want my seven-year-old sister to see my like this. Specially since this was the first time I'd seen her in a year.

"Z!" she said jumping into my arms. I hugged her tight and realized how much I'd missed this little girl. Although at first I was pretending to be alright, hugging Safaa really lifted my spirits immediately.

She turned around and flicked the light on in my room and I immediately covered my eyes. It suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't turned the lights on once since I came home.

"Are you alright?" she asked me as she sat on my bed. She patted the spot next to her.

I sat down and grabbed her hand, "Yeah I'm fine, princess, why do you ask?"

"I heard you crying earlier. Did you and Perrie break up?" she asked me innocently.

The question felt as if a blunt knife had been driven through my abdomen. The pain radiated throughout my body and I became increasingly aware of the pounding in my head. It took everything in me not to double up in pain and begin crying again.

"No. I just need time to think," I answered her as I wondered if she had found out about Perrie cheating on me through the tabloids or if Mum had told her.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" she asked me, her eyes full of hope.

As much as I wanted to leave this tiny house, I couldn't risk being seen in public. The paparazzi would appear by the van-load and my only safe haven would be safe no more.

"I'd love to, princess, but I can't be seen," I said rubbing her hand.

She quickly got up and I felt remorse that I hadn't seen my baby princess in almost a year and I couldn't even agree to take a short walk outside with her. Ah, what the hell.

I ran behind her and picked her up into my arms. She was a lot heavier than I remembered but I could manage to prop her up using one of my arms.

 "Go put on a jacket," I said kissing her on the cheek. She squealed with joy as I put her down and she ran to her bedroom.