Storms {z.m.}

Chapter 12

Chapter 12 - Christine

It's a Thursday, my conscience kept telling me.

But it wasn't any ordinary Wednesday, Zayn coming back to Bradford had turned my life upside down in a tiny fraction of the time it had taken me to put it right side up after he left. I'd cried and pulled my hair, finally composed myself, then began to cry again. Several times. I had to do something to get him off of my mind. I really needed to call Poppy. She was the only one that could help me get my mind off of all this.

used to never go to parties or raves, always preferring a good book in the comfort of my bedroom, but that got me nowhere. And now that my movie night companion was gone I was awfully lonely.

That's when I found Poppy. She had moved from America a couple of years ago and she was amazing. She was a big fan of the rave scene, something she'd likely gotten into when she lived in America. She always invited me to go with her, but getting completely wasted and dancing in a crowd of sweaty people didn't appeal to me one bit.

That is until I found out about Zayn becoming engaged to Perrie.

"Sweetheart!" Trisha exclaimed as I was walking home from work one day. It was one of those rare sunny days in England that make you believe that there is a chance at a happy ending after all.

"Ello, Trish," I said waving back. She motioned me over with her hands so I walked across the street to where she was standing behind the white picket fence that divided their yard and ours.

"Did you hear the great news?" she asked me smiling from ear to ear. Her cheeks were flushed in a way that told me that she'd been smiling this wide for a couple of hours at least. I saw Liya appear from behind her, and it looked like she'd just seen a ghost.

"Mum, maybe we-" she began before her mother cut her off.

"Zayn hasn't told you?" she asked surprised. I couldn't bear to tell Trish that her son and I hadn't spoken in months, so I led her to believe we talked once in a while.

My gaze shifted between Trish's and Liya's. The juxtaposition of their eyes was incredible: Trish's were bright with happiness while Liya's were full of worry and concern. She was now standing right next to her mother with her hand gripping her mother's forearm. It looked like she was squeezing it, as if to tell her to stop talking. But however lovely Trish was, she wasn't the kind to catch on to hints like that. And for once in my life I wish she would have.

"Mum-" Liya tried again.

"Zayn and Perrie have become engaged!" she says excitedly. She even jumped up and down clapping her hands.

I instantly became disoriented. I felt like I'd received a massive blow to both of my temples simultaneously and my equilibrium was bearing the serious repercussions. I put one hand on the fence to steady myself in fear that I would lose my balance completely and drop to the floor. I didn't feel like I was going to through up, but there was definitely a burning in my stomach that made me want to double over in pain and grab my abdomen. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and elbow, I'm guessing it was Liya since I could still see a distorted image of Trish standing across from me.

To this day I don't know what was done or said for the few minutes after the new hit me. All I know was that I was in my bedroom and Liya was rubbing circles on my back as I stared at my One Direction poster over my bed. I tried to look at Liam, Louis, Harry, or even Niall. But I kept staring at the fifth one, the one with the lovely quiff, the intense brown eyes, and furrowed brow. The one that I claimed. Also the one that had claimed another girl as his own.

"You alright, petal?" she asked me in a soft voice. Liya knew better than anybody how much I had struggled with the idea of Zayn dating other girls. It cut me to the core when he dated Rebecca, and it hurt even worse when he began to date Perrie because she looked like a much braver, ballsier version of me. With her ever-changing color highlights, nose piercing and tight clothing.

The only thing that made me feel better about Zayn dating other girls was entertaining the idea that he didn't love them. True, I wouldn't know even if he did. But convincing myself that they didn't make him happy made me happy in a twisted way. I made myself believe that I was the only girl that could make Zayn happy and it was an idea that, albeit erroneous, I found extremely comforting.

This engagement, however, was the ultimate proof that I was wrong. Zayn loves Perrie. He loves another girl that isn't me. It was almost too much to bear. I don't know when I began crying. Hopefully it wasn't in front of Trish.

"No," I said, my voice hoarse.

"You knew this might happen eventually, didn't you, sweetheart?" she said looking at me while I still looked at the picture of Zayn on my wall.

"I really believed he would come back for me, Liya," I whispered.