Our New Fate

Chapter 8: I'm so sorry

  Song used in this chapter: "Best I Ever Had" - State of Shock

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"Now I know I messed up bad

You were the best I ever had"

Nam Soon held tight at the phone on his hands, the regret filling him up inside harder than before. It was his fault. All of this happened because he was a coward, because he didn't go back. His stupid decision made him lose Heung Soo twice. If he had went back, then, maybe, would everything be different now? If he had gone to that hospital room, then, would Heung Soon have forgiven him, and would they be together now? Would they still be friends? But he didn't go back - he left Heung Soo. After all, he was the one who left him. Because he was afraid that Heung Soo would let go of him, he let go first.

I'm sorry, he wanted to say. He wanted to say it a thousand times, and then, say it again. But now, all he could do was wipe away the tears that fell from his eyes because he didn't have the right to be crying. How much suffering should Heung Soo have gone through to say this sort of thing now? He must have gone through so much because of him.

But he wouldn't run away a second time. He would try his best, he would do whatever was on his way to get his forgiveness - or at least to be sure that Heung Soo really moved on... Had he really moved on? If Nam Soon left again, how would he feel? He didn't want to know, and he wouldn't know - because he wouldn't leave. Not now that fate gave him a second chance. He would not make the same mistake again

"I let you down in the worst way

It hurts me every single day

I'm dying to let you know"

Nam Soon didn't know what to expect on the next day. Would Heung Soo go back to the coffee shop? If he did, what would he say? Should he ask for forgiveness once more? He didn't know what to expect and he was also afraid - afraid that he wouldn't look at him again, afraid that he might cry if he saw him again.

But in the end, he just didn't go. Moo Yul was there in the morning, though. However, this time he didn't look as welcoming as last time. He looked apprehensive, like he was still deciding what to think about Nam Soon. But Nam Soon didn't care if he would think well or bad about him - it wouldn't make a difference. He just served him his usual coffee, hoping that he would just leave and stop staring so blatantly at him. But he kept watching, apparently curious about something, but Nam Soon refused to ask.

"I swear, since the first time I saw you, you've looked so familiar..." he wondered out loud, leaving Nam Soon surprised. This was the last comment he expected to hear, since he was sure that they had never met before

"I don't think we met before..." Nam Soon handed him the coffee with his change, but he didn't look away. "It's not so long since I moved here", he continued.

"Yes, but you really look like someone I know, but I can't remember who..." he mumbled, more to himself than to Nam Soon. This time though, he didn't talk about Heung Soo. Neither asked him something else nor invited him to any more parties. He just turned toward the exit, but Nam Soon called him back before he could move further.

He knew it wouldn't make a difference. He knew it, but it was better than nothing. He didn't want Heung Soo to see it like a pity gest, so he asked him not to tell. It wouldn't make him feel better about himself either - he just did it, because it was all he could do.