Our New Fate

Chapter 20: Don't need apologies.

Song used in this chapter: "Unconditionally" - Katy Perry (Alex Goot Cover)

____

"Oh no, did I get too close?"

Nam Soon took a step back and turned to the other side of the street where he had parked his car - as far away from Heung Soo as possible. He hurried his steps and didn't look back, completely forgetting about Yoon Jae and Joon Hee that called him behind his back, caught by surprise, and trying to ignore Heung Soo’s calls behind him; but mostly trying to ignore his footsteps chasing after him before he could reach his car.

"Nam Soon-ah," he called, but Nam Soon pulled away before he could touch his shoulder. He didn't want to look at Heung Soo - he was afraid to see him, afraid to talk to him and afraid to hear his words.

"I'm tired. I don't want to talk right now," Nam Soon exclaimed, getting inside his car before Heung Soo could try to stop him again.

"Nam Soon!" Heung Soo shouted and knocked on his window when Nam Soon closed the door on him - but Nam Soon didn't stop. Nam Soon didn't even look back at him one last time before leaving. He left him there, alone, without speaking a word. Why? What would he do now?

Heung Soo watched as Nam Soon's car vanished from sight and slowly returned to his car, now more than ever wondering if he had made the right decision when he came here.

He looked around the street, especially to the gay couples standing in front of the bars. So, that was it? Was that really what Nam Soon had been hiding from him? But how come he never noticed it before? He felt stupid. He thought Nam Soon was finally close to him again, but apparently he was mistaken - now, Nam Soon seemed more distant than ever.

Heung Soo sighed, running his hands anxiously through his hair and closed his eyes, leaning his elbows on the wheel. Slowly he opened his eyes again and stared once more at those guys in the street. And right now he could see Nam Soon everywhere - he could see him laughing with a group of guys on the corner, he could see him smoking alone in front of the wooden door of an old bar down the street. Now, he could even see him holding hands with another guy at the tables on the bar right in front of him - and that caused a strange and unwanted feeling inside his stomach.

He sighed one more time, before starting the car and driving away from there.

"Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?

All your insecurities"

Heung Soo wasn't paying attention on his way back home. Fortunately he arrived safely, but his mind remained there - on Nam Soon's scared expression staring at him across the street, his eyes filled with tears as he closed the door of his car and left him there.

Already with no will to sleep, he took the first instant food he'd found in the cabinet and put it inside the microwave. He didn't know very well what to think about all this - about what Nam Soon had been hiding from him. He tried to keep his mind distant as he sat in front of the television with his instant food in his hands, but he knew that was already a lost cause. He couldn't think about anything else.

And now that he knew the truth, it all began to make sense - Nam Soon's sudden disappearances, his mysterious friend and all those secrets. He wished Nam Soon had trusted in him enough to tell him, but Nam Soon couldn't even look at him when he saw him there. Why was he so afraid? He tried recalling something he might had said in the past but he didn't think he had made any homophobic jokes at any time - he definitely didn't. This was never something they'd talked about, as far as he could remember.