Our New Fate

Chapter 50: These are my excuses.

Song used in this chapter:  "Lost Boy" - Troye Sivan

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"As the smile fell from your face, I fell with it

Our faces blueThere's a heart stain on the carpet

I left it, I left it with you"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nam Soon was sitting on the bed, staring at the floor between his feet, and didn't look up when Heung Soo entered the room. He barely even moved from where he was, and his words were harsher than when he talked to him on the phone. "Why didn't you tell me about your transfer to Toronto?"

Heung Soo felt as if something was stuck in his throat. What... How...

"How did you find out?" was his first surprised question. Perhaps it was not the best choice of words, but it was the one he first thought of.

He heard an annoyed sigh from Nam Soon as he stood up, facing him with blushed cheeks and - Heung Soo noticed - watering eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nam Soon repeated the same question with his eyes on him, and Heung Soo could see that he seemed rather disappointed than sad about it. But Heung Soo was shaking his head uninterruptedly in his direction as he looked into his eyes.

"Because I'm not going anywhere," Heung Soo sighed, placing his backpack over the bed and sitting on the edge. He continued shaking his head in response to Nam Soon's incredulous expression, "I knew you would stay like this and I didn't want to worry you. I'm not going."

"You can't just don't want to go, " Nam Soon whispered, not seeming convinced by his words, though his tone was a bit softer than before.

"I can. I don't want to go. I've made up my mind," he repeated, as Nam Soon looked at him and sat down beside him. He looked at his feet for a few seconds and lay back on the bed.

"It's a chance in a lifetime though." he whispered while Heung Soo stood up, getting his clothes off his backpack. He made sure not to look back at the younger as he placed his clean clothes back in his wardrobe and threw the dirty ones into a corner of the room. He didn't want to be found out - because deep in his most hidden dreams, the photographs of Canada were still running in his mind - but he made sure not to let it show. He focused on his present, on his future with Nam Soon, and all the things they could do together. What was the point of going if the most important part of his life was staying here? He tried his best to keep this in his mind and not in the impossible possibilities of both of them together on the other side of the world.

"How did you find out?" Heung Soo asked again after he dropped his backpack still with a few clothes over the rack and sat next to him on the bed.

Nam Soon shrugged, avoiding his eyes. Perhaps from embarrassment for ignoring him the whole weekend just because of that, or maybe because he too was afraid to see that Heung Soo was not being completely honest, and really wanted to believe his words.

"Moo Yul went to my cafe on Saturday...," he sent him a quick glance and stared at his hands again, "... and yeah... he thought I already knew about it."

"Moo Yul did?" Heung Soo couldn't help from frowning, "why?"

"Dunno, you probably told him that I had opened it didn't you?" Nam Soon sighed, and discreetly stared into his eyes, "... Maybe he wanted to see my reaction about you moving?" this possibility suddenly popped into his mind, but at the time he did not think it sounded suspicious.