2 Tequila Bottles

Mistakes

How can I talk about love if all the words to describe it, are too soon?

I've felt it in my chest.

How it feels to be hurt beyond repair.

By someone you gave your all to.

Not the guy who you lied to and said you were allergic to chocolate because you didn't want any. No, not him. The one who you told that, too much chocolate would trigger your bulimia and you'd end up going through that process again.

Not the guy who you told, not to smoke weed but still did it yourself. Not him. The one that made you change your ways of addiction.

Not the one that would text you while your phone was on Do Not Disturb. Not that one. The one that has his own special ring tone.

Truthfully, the first guy wouldn't know you for who you really are because all you wanted was the attention. You lied to seem perfect.

The other one though. You wanted his love and understanding.

But what happened?

He disappeared without a trace.

Blocked you for loving too soon.

Not because you're weird, but because it was too much for him to reciprocate and that was overwhelming.

It sucks. It feels like your insides are being shattered and you can't do anything but beg.

Beg that this doesn't make you weaker.

You sit in the corner of your room, lay down covered in soft silk and sleep with a heavy heart.

So the next time that someone comes around, you are unsure of what to do.

You don't want to loose but you want to love.

 Love more passionately, not blindly.

-L.B.

Nov. 17, 2017.