If My Love Is Suicide (Nalu)

Author's Note

Author's Note

Sorry about the author's note. I am updating a chapter along with this. By the way I am going to give a full recap in the next chapter so you remember everything that has happened. I just would appreciate if you read this. I have been on wattpad but I have not updated this story. It is not because I got tired with it or anything, it is a story I wrote a long time ago when I was around 11. I know, what a cynical 11 year old, right?

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I felt like I was being rude to people because I didn't accurately present the problems that I put Lucy through. Also, I felt like I totally murdered the character. I also struggled with continuing because I don't have confidence in the story.

I did read all of your comments though and It was very rude of me to just stop updating for months. I will try and continue on on a regular bases (maybe at least once a week or something?) I'm not sure yet.

Still I deeply apologize to anyone who is reading this book. I know it is annoying when someone doesn't update for months because you either lost interest, don't remember and have to go and reread it, or you were annoyed/upset that nothing was coming out. I am sorry.

I have readers and that's all that counts. Even if all the comments say the same thing, when I read a comment asking me to update, being interested in the story, or even just living it up, it is the best part of my day. It's that type of happiness that makes me smile and not be  self conscious about it. The type when I get that jittery feeling that I don't know what to do with. I can't help but forget everything else because it makes me so happy.

What I'm trying to say is that I have read every single comment and smiled because of them. I think some are interested in this story (even if just a little) so I think it was awful for me to stop writing to people who made me that happy.

It's not that I don't enjoy writing either, I love it. I guess I felt like this was something that should be hidden because it is something I could do better now.

I know I wrote so much. Sorry for that too. Anyways, I love you guys and if you actually read this to the end bravo. (I know that's kind of cheesy but I'll leave it c;)

So I always got to ask something when I do an author's note, right? Let's see... if you could only keep 4 possessions what would they be?

Before you answer let me just say living things don't count (I guess a plant can count if you have a special plant or something but what I'm trying to say is your pets, animals, family, friends none of them will be gone). Don't worry about money either.

Lastly, if you don't choose clothes you wouldn't be naked, you would keep the pair that you were wearing (if your wearing pajamas and you'd be embarrassed or whatever just let's say one normal outfit, k?) Jeez, what a long question.

Okay so what would I choose? (these are not in order) One more thing is that I seem to be typing a lot recently if I talk about something about me. I mean like not a story. What I am trying to say is sorry for the long message and also my answers below are really long. If that intimidates anyone, sorry. I am the one who is doing weird lengthy stuff . If you comment I'm not even expecting an explanation (Although I would love one.)

1. bracelet

I have a bracelet that my mother gave me like 6 or so years ago. I love my mom so I never take it off. It's really cute too. Anyways, I got it because I was diagnosed with severe separation anxiety (all though that is a whole other story.) I mean I was diagnosed before 6 years ago, anyways it was when I was really young. I got this after I started taking meds for it. So she gave it to me because I was always worried about her. I couldn't leave the house without staying with my mom the whole time. (school was a struggle) Still, she would leave and that would make me nervous. I always panicked wondering if the worst had happened. What if she died? what if she's never coming back? So anyways the bracelet was given to me so I could always be with her. Sweet, right? If any of you are wondering btw, I am still taking meds and have panicked less about this. I did a lot of therapy so I could start doing some things. All though the nerves for anything, even if they are less, I don't think will ever go away. (I just need to say that I'm not saying I have a hard life. I think I am very fortunate and I am not complaining. I know most have it way worse. Overall my life is great.)

2. phone

Yes, my phone. I know, why would you choose that? I get that it is a stupid choice. You could replace it easily. Still, I think that a phone in general is very important object to me. I have the iPhone 7 which I use on a daily bases. I can't go anywhere without it. Not because I'm addicted (even though I am) but because of the anxiety I was talking about earlier. If I had no sure way of reaching certain people I'd like die. Another thing is I spend a lot of time on my phone wether it be drawing, playing, writing, reading, watching, etc. I do it all. So my phone is really important.

3. My box of memories

Maybe this shouldn't count because there are multiple things in the box but I can't really choose. It has a bunch of memories, things that are either really insignificant or really significant. I have things like a cool shoelace thing my sister made to help with my ADHD, pictures and cards, notebooks, and other random objects like that that remind me of my childhood. (Even though I am a teenager my life now would still count as childhood later in life so I mean childhood up until now.)

4. My fandom collection

This probably shouldn't count either but for now I can't choose. I have shelves upon shelves of manga, cosplays, figures, and other things. Not to mention comics and western television march too. Especially supernatural related stuff. I would want to keep that. If I had to choose one I guess it would be the necklace that my sister gave me that I wore everyday until my school told me to take it off. (It's a stupid school.)

Last thing!!! I am sorry I am not going to mention everyone but I wanted to mention a few people from just the last chapter who's comments moved me so much. ( I'll try to mention people more often btw.)

!!!Dragneel_Twins

gutmanpho

Bellaboo0904

BunnyYu

my_ships_

smol_Akuma_potato