What would you do? (A Bastille/ Dan Smith fanfic)

56. It can only get better

DAN’S P.O.V.

How have I let this happen again? I swore I had it under control. I swore I would never give in to my cravings again, no matter how bad they got. It wasn’t that I was depressed this time, just the nerves of letting everyone down got me stressed out. I hope they can all forgive me again.

I sat up in my hospital bed, scribbling lyrics down onto my notepad. I needed to work. I needed to do something to take my mind off of what was going on. I needed to be productive with my time and live up to everyone’s expectations.

Seeing Ally and the boys made me feel a bit better. I put on a brave face for them and acted like it was all okay. It would be all okay though, I would be let out of here soon and then I could get back to my life and forget this relapse had ever happened.

By the time they had left I felt exhausted. I got one of the nurses to help me disconnect myself from my drip and got into the bathroom to wash and get into some pj’s that the guys had brought round for me the previous day. I looked in the mirror and felt sick at my reflection even though I had made the best effort to look okay today.

I got back into the hospital bed and lay down, closing my eyes and hoping for sleep.

KYLE’S P.O.V.

I sat on the bed in the room that I was sharing with Woody and Will, playing on my phone and not paying attention to their conversation. I scrolled through my twitter mentions and saw most of them were to do with Dan, asking if he was okay. I didn’t want to lie to the fans any more than I had already done so I decided not to reply to any of those tweets, instead focusing on the cat pictures that people had sent me which were guaranteed to make me smile.

After a while I was getting bored and I needed some time away from the other guys, so I told them I was going out for a walk and would be back before 4 so that we could go to see Dan again. I didn’t really want to go back to that hospital. We had been yesterday and the guys were just brushing over what had happened, even joking about it. Me and Ally ended up having to leave the room we were getting so frustrated.

I left the room and started making my way down the corridor and stopped in front of the door that was next to ours. I stood outside for a second, hesitating and then I knocked on it. Ally appeared seconds later.

“Kyleeeee!” She gave me a quick hug and then walked back into the room, signalling for me to follow her. She looked like she had just been crying but I didn’t really want to mention that. “What are you guys up to?” She asked whilst sitting on the bed and getting under the covers, moving her gaze to the tv.

“Nothing much, if you’re busy I can leave?”

“Kyle hun, does it look like I’m busy?” She laughed. “This is the second episode of Jeremy Kyle I’ve watched today, it’s an addiction.” She looked towards me and caught my eye. “Kyle, not that I’m not loving having the company of another person, cause believe me I am, but what are you doing here? You can come and join me you know, I won’t bite!”

I chuckled a little bit. “Okay, okay if you want my loving all you have to do is ask!” I joked, climbing into the bed with her. “Just no cheeky fondling, alright missy?”

“Oh shut it Simmons, don’t flatter yourself.” She hit me playfully on the arm.

“Abusing me now I see!” I rubbed my arm, pretending to be hurt.

“Again, shut it Simmons!” I laughed and wrapped my arm around her, allowing her to cuddle into me and put her head on my shoulder. “I miss Dan.” She sighed. “Obviously I know I only saw him yesterday.” She shuffled around and looked at me. “But, you know, I miss how he was before this tour. I didn’t realise how much he would change with the stress and I definitely didn’t think he would end up in hospital for drug overdose! Is that bad of me? To not like some parts of him?”