What would you do? (A Bastille/ Dan Smith fanfic)

63. Never be the same again

ALLY’S P.O.V.

I stood behind the counter at work, staring at the clock on the wall, dreading 6 o’clock. As it got to ten past 6 and I still hadn’t left, Seth realised and started quizzing me on why I hadn’t left work yet.

“Have you got nothing better to do on a Friday evening then spend more time here serving coffee?” He had questioned me. In all honesty, I had a place that I needed to go but I was just afraid of what would happen.

I unwillingly walked through to the back room and slowly picked my bag up, taking my time. As I waved goodbye to Seth and Charlie I felt sick to my stomach. In a matter of minutes I was going to be faced with Kaley. I don’t know why I was so scared of this; it was me that had made the decision to see her again.

I approached the front door and took a deep breath in, ‘it’s now or never’ I told myself. I reached into my bag for my key and put it in the lock, hearing the familiar click as I pressed down the handle.

I walked in to a complete mess. The place was filled of takeaway boxes and dirty cups, items of clothing strewn on the floor as I walked up to the bedrooms. As I walked past my own bedroom door I looked inside and my room mirrored the rest of the flat, it was an absolute tip. Kaley had clearly been searching for something in here and I was fuming that she would dare leave our flat in this disgusting state, especially my room.

“Ally?” I heard a voice from behind me, startling me and making me quickly turn. Kaley was stood there, dressing gown on, hair unwashed, face blotchy, basically looking like shit.

“Hi.” I nervously mumbled.

“Ally.” She repeated, tears streaming down her cheeks as she let out a soft chuckle. “Oh my god, Ally.” She grabbed my shoulders and held me in a tight hug. “I’m so happy to see you.” I didn’t quite know what to do or say, so instead I stood there awkwardly not doing or saying anything at all. Kaley noticed my uneasiness and pulled away. “A-Are you okay?”

“Uh.” I stuttered. “I don’t really know.” I answered truthfully.

“Right.. Well what are we doing in the hallway?” She held my hand and lead me to the living room, making space on the sofa for me to sit.

“The place is a tip, Kaley.” I said after a few moments of silence.

“I- I know.. It’s not been too good around here since you left.” She gave a weak smile. “Um.. I lost my job too.”

“Oh Kaley. What happened?”

“I just didn’t care and I couldn’t be bothered to go to work basically. And on the days that I did manage to go in, I was either drunk or didn’t do any work. So they had to let me go. That was over a week ago and I haven’t left the house since.”

“Bloody hell Kaley.”

“But that was all my fault and I don’t deserve any sympathy at all. And what happened between me and you; that was my fault too.”

I nodded, accepting that she was taking some responsibility for what had happened between us. “I’ve never seen you act so crazy.” I said, after a few moments of thinking.

“I’ve had some time to think and I know.” She bowed her head. “I’m so embarrassed.”

I was still unsure of what to do or say. I wanted her to know the pressure that she had put on mine and Dan’s relationship. I wanted her to beg for my forgiveness. She seemed sorry and she knew she had been in the wrong, but I didn’t feel like she truly meant it.

“Ally, what are you thinking?”

“I don’t know.” I said as an automatic response. Wait, why was I trying to reframe from hurting her feelings? She had hurt me enough recently. “Actually no, I do know. I think that you fucked up big time, and I’m not sure if you realise what you caused. You lied to me and tried to manipulate the situation to favour you, even though it was you who did wrong.”

We were both in floods of tears by now, Kaley shuffling closer to me and holding my hands. “I know and I’m so sorry. I can’t be any more sorry. I know I’ve messed up and you would be amazing if you could possibly forgive me. I’ve pushed this friendship to its limit and I hope we can get back to normal and I just want you home.”

I shook my head furiously. “No, Kaley it will never be like it was. It’s going to take me some time to trust you again. And as for moving back in, I won’t be doing that for a while.”

“Oh okay.” She seemed shocked that I wasn’t just going to forgive her quickly and move back in and forget that this had all happened. Yes, I wanted to have her back in my life, but no, I didn’t want to forget everything and act all happy families.

“Just give it time Kaley.”

“Okay.” She agreed, nodding her head.

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