Written

Chapter 14

HAYLEY

The week I spend at home feels like the longest of my life. It's taxing work, fitting my entire life down to two large suitcases. This is really happening. I have a plane ticket to St. Louis tucked away in my sock drawer, scheduled to fly out Sunday afternoon. Every time I turn around my mother is crying, but she insists that they are tears of pride.

The hardest part for me was going back to the station on Wednesday and handing in my resignation. Catherine had taken me in her arms proudly. I suspect that she had known all along what my decision would be. Gail cries and cries, and her behavior from that day in the parking lot when she hugged me goodbye finally makes sense. Mike seems to be the only one who had absolutely no idea at all. It is a difficult morning for all of us. I won't have to say goodbye to them until Friday, which has been determined as my last day. Catherine waves me off as I apologize for the short notice, and again I suspect that she knew I would be leaving. She is far too organized to respond so nonchalantly to such a sudden scheduling change.

Thursday, I spend the entirety of the day with Ryan. After I leave work, I pick him up and we go to our favorite restaurant in town. Every move I make seems so final, so over exaggerated.
Ryan is quiet most of the day, clearly deep in thought. I eventually give up on trying to coax conversation out of him and suggest that we see a movie. My mind isn't in it. I spend most of the movie trying not to think about Harry, and trying not to think about how I'm trying not to think about Harry.
Pathetically, whenever my mind isn't otherwise occupied, I find myself thinking of him. The look he gave me outside of the motel in Nashville confirmed my thoughts: Whatever happens between Harry and I will be intense. The emotional current that runs through the space between us is far too strong for any type of bland friendship.

Friday is the hardest. For the last time, I wake up at 3 o clock in the morning. For the last time, I make the drive to the station. Every step I take into the building is intensified; this is the only place I've ever felt truly, truly safe. This is home. People wave and smile sadly at me as I pass them. Knowing that I will be missed is such a bittersweet feeling. I am the first person to arrive. For the last time, I put on a pit of coffee. As I watch the brown liquid slowly trickle into the pot below, I seriously consider calling Paul and telling him that I can't do it. I can't leave the familiarity, I can't leave my life. A few short, calming breaths later, I reconsider.
I've made my decision, and it is time to be brave. This is my life. Catherine, Mike, and Gail all enter the break room at the same time. They stop, all three of them facing me. Tears well in my eyes at the sight of Gail's wet cheeks, and before they can stop me, I launch myself at all three of them, holding them tightly. These people are my family.

"Stop it, stop it," Mike says gruffly. "We've got a show to put on." My chest squeezes as I see him trying to hide the emotion on his face. "One last show," he adds, squeezing my shoulder.
As we all make our way to the booth, the phrase for the last time falls around inside my head. Everything is for the last time today. The show is normal, nothing spectacular. None of our hearts are particularly in it today, and with every small movement of the clock, my stomach tightens.
Three more hours and I will no longer be employed here. Two more hours and I'll never be on the air again. One more hour. Thirty minutes. At ten minutes to noon, a momentary beat of silence falls in the studio.

"To end our show today, we are saying goodbye to one of our very best," Mike starts. As soon as the words are out of his mouth, my throat tightens. "Hayley Reid is leaving us today. So, Atlanta, if you're listening...just take a moment. Take a moment to think about how many mornings you sat stuck in traffic and hearing her voice on the radio made it a little easier to bear. Take a moment to thank Hayley Reid for opening up her life to this city. For giving one hundred percent every single day."
My eyes meet Mike's and I give up on fighting, the tears fall onto my cheeks. "Atlanta, think of Hayley Reid today. Think of how brave she is. There is so much ahead of her. We should all be thankful that she even briefly lingered in our lives." There is a beat of silence and Gail cries heavily, not even bothering to move her microphone out of the way. "Hayley," Mike says. "Atlanta's Sweetheart. Sign us off."