Written

Chapter 37

HARRY

   Hayley doesn’t sleep at all on the plane, and she is dead on her feet when we land. I had the option to be picked up or to rent a car and drive myself, and I chose to drive. There is something so comforting and therapeutic about driving old familiar streets. Thankfully, no cameras await us at the London airport. Hayley leans against my arm comfortably as we wait to pick up the rental. Even though it is a July night, there is a chill in the air and Hayley is shivering. I hadn’t even brought a jacket for myself, let alone a spare one for her. I just hold her close to my side while I sign some paperwork. When the keys are handed to me, I practically drag Hayley along to the car and open the door for her to get in. I watch in amusement as she opens the wrong door, forgetting in her lethargic state that everything is opposite. She blinks too many times when she sees the steering wheel in what she thinks is the passengers’ side and shakes her head as if to clear it. She looks up at me, so tired and so confused, and she is so damn cute.

   “Come here, baby,” I laugh, leading her around to the other side of the car. When she is buckled in, I sit in the driver’s seat and pull out of the parking lot. Despite the long plane ride, I slept well as close to Hayley as I could get. I woke up at one point and realized that it couldn’t have been comfortable for her, the way I was wrapped around her, but she hadn’t said anything. I glance over at her now in the passenger’s seat, head resting against the window. She is fast asleep, and I am suddenly overwhelmed by her presence. She is here. Between her slow, steady breaths, the heat pouring from the car vents, and the calm that comes with driving at night, I feel more peaceful than I have in months. I keep one hand on the wheel and reach over with the other to lace my fingers through Hayley’s. Even in her sleep, her fingers reflexively join with mine.

   It’s a three hour drive from London to Holmes Chapel, and I have so much time to think. I think back to what Hayley said the first week I met her, about how family ties aren’t physical. “It’s just…love,” she had said. Still, I worry about this trip. I am away from my family for so long that coming back feels awkward. My mum had once told me that she feels like she is standing still while I just move in circles around her. At the time I hadn’t been able to tell her that she had it backwards. They are the ones moving while I stand still. I come back home and so many things are different each time. Gemma has graduated school, they’ve adopted another cat, this room is painted and this porch is built. They are small things but they are enough to make me feel like an outsider in my own home. It’s easy to forget that they live a life completely separate from me. Coming home can be a shock a lot of the time, and I never know how to explain that. I shouldn’t feel as uncomfortable as I do.

   That’s a part of the reason I asked Hayley to come with me. I had been shocked that she agreed, but almost overcome with relief. She makes me calm, she keeps me steady. I considered telling her how I felt about home, but I decided that she didn’t need to know. It’s personal.

   It’s past midnight when we finally make it to my mum’s house, but with the time zones and the traveling I have no fucking clue what time Hayley and my bodies are set to. She wakes up when the car pulls into the rocky driveway.

   “I’m nervous,” she whispers.

   “Why?” I ask. Why would she be nervous?

   “What if they don’t like me?” she asks in a small voice.

   I actually roll my eyes at her. “Hayley. They are going to love you. Trust me, you have nothing to be worried about.”

   She opens her mouth, probably to give me another “but what if,” only she is cut off by mum stepping onto the porch and waving her arms like a lunatic. We both step out of the car and walk around to the front. Hayley clings to my arm nervously as we approach my mother.