Written

Chapter 34

HAYLEY

My body is sore the next morning when I wake up, from crying myself to sleep. I dreaded the morning, and when it came, it lived up to my expectations of awful. I felt like I was going through a very stereotypical breakup, not wanting to get dressed, get up, or even move. I wake up just as the sun is rising and I stare out of my window, conflicted.

I know that I love Harry. More importantly, I know that he loves me. So why not just forgive him and move on? A part of me wants that, but the other part of me knows it's not logical. Because, yeah, this thing happened and I got mad and Harry smooth-talked his way out of it. I let him come crawling back, how many times will the exact same thing happen? I had been living in a fantasy, thinking this could work out. I should have known that eventually, in the 'secret relationship,' that the secret would become more important than the relationship. I should have seen it coming.

I lay in bed, moping, for two more hours before my phone rings. I want it to be Harry, but I also don't. It turns out to be Liam, and I hit the ignore button. I don't feel like talking. He calls twice more and I decline the call both times. I am breaking my own rule; I had established to the boys early on that if I called more than once, even if they didn't talk, they had to at least pick up or send a text to acknowledge me. Liam was the worst offender and I know he will chew me out for breaking the rule.

When I hear a pounding on my door shortly after, I know it is Liam.

"Hayley!" He calls. "Are you in there?" I almost ignore him now too, so he will leave me alone. But I can't scare him like that. Liam would call out a search party.

"Yeah," I call from the bed. My voice comes out in a croak.

"Are you okay?" His concerned voice sounds from the other side of the door.

"Yeah," I say again. I know how unconvincing I sound.

"Can I come in?" Liam asks.

"No," I tell him.

"Hayley, I'm coming in." Moments later, the lock clicks and I curse Liam's obsessive need for an all-access key at every hotel. Liam looks at me, wrapped up in the heavy comforter. "Oh no," he says. I just turn my face into the pillow. Before I fell asleep last night, I promised myself that no one would know what was happening between Harry and I. I refused to let my professional life be taken by that boy, too. Liam sits on the edge of the bed, and to my immense relief, he doesn't ask questions. I break another of my rules and cry in front of him when his hand starts a comforting journey up and down my back. Soon I am lulled into sleep, which I welcome. I drift in that in-between stage where you forget all the negativity in your life and just drift in a happy nothingness. Soft voices bring me back around to consciousness. I open my eyes to see Zayn standing next to the bed. Liam has given up his perch on the edge and moved to sit next to me, leaning against the headboard. I manage a half-hearted smile at Zayn and he motions for me to scoot over. Zayn sits on the other side of me and we all just lay in silence.

A knock sounds on the door, and no one gets up to get it. No one speaks. I am still half asleep. In some distant part of my brain, I am aware that it could be Harry at the door. But it won't be. I guess Zayn left the door unlocked because I hear it click open. Someone walks into the room and no one speaks. I want to lift my head to see if it is indeed Harry, but I am suddenly so tired. A light weight across the bottom of my bed causes me to shift. Someone has joined us on the bed.

"Is she okay?" Louis voice asks. "I heard them yelling last night. And Harry was throwing things in his room after."

"She's actually doing pretty well," Zayn says. "Damn. We should have stopped this before it started."