Written

Chapter 39

Harry does order pizza and just like the night in Nashville, we sit on the floor and eat. I'm not nearly as hungry as I was then, so Harry eats most of it. We lean back against Liam's couch talking about Harry's family. I find myself captivated by the past and the history.

"What did my mum say to you?" Harry inquires.

"Um," I'm not sure if my conversation with Anne was supposed to be confidential, so I decide on a less specific answer. "She just told me that you, um, don't really...love...a lot of people." It comes out fumbling and awkward, and Harry's face falls into his hands, embarrassed.

"She didn't have to say that," he moans. I crawl over to him on the floor until I'm kneeling in front of him. I take his wrists in my hands and pull his hands away from his face.

"I'm glad she did, Harry," I tell him. I lean in and kiss his nose, earning a small smile. "It made me feel special."

"You are special," he says. I roll my eyes but he leans in to close the distance between us, our lips meeting softly. My mouth opens and Harry deepens the kiss, pulling me forward until I am on his lap. His strong arms wrap around my back, holding me so tightly that it's almost painful. It's glorious, all the same. This time he doesn't stop me when I reach behind him to pull his shirt over his head. As soon as his bare chest is exposed to me I lean down, suddenly feeling to need to kiss every line of every tattoo. Harry lets out a raw moan as my tongue runs along his collarbone. His fingers trace down my spine, causing my whole body to shiver. When he reaches the hem of my shirt, his shirt, he pulls it up and over my head in one fluid motion. I am now straddling his lap in just a bra and panties and when our chests press together and he kisses my neck, I know he will not stop me again. This is it. I pull back to kiss him feverishly but our eyes meet and the intensity of his gaze stops me in my tracks. His palm reaches out to rest against my face for a moment before he pulls my face to his, kissing the corner of my mouth, my chin, and finally my lips. I almost cry from the pure emotion in the gesture.

What began as a fiery heat has slowed now, there is no rush. We have all the time in the world, it seems. We kiss each other slowly, savoring each minute. I let my hands run along every inch of Harry's body from the waist up, noting how he shivers when my hands graze his stomach. I can never pull away for too long before Harry's lips find mine again. His heavy breaths ignite something inside of me that only he can put out.

My hand finds his hair as he reaches behind my back, his hand so big that he can support me with only one. His nimble fingers work to unclasp my bra and I find myself laughing when he can't quite get it. I reach behind to help him and when my bra hits the floor behind us, we're gone. Our bare bodies relax into each other. Our mouths find each other again and Harry pulls me to stand up. I kiss him again and he lifts me into his arms effortlessly. I laugh breathlessly as he carries me backwards to the bedroom.

Harry's body is hard and strong under mine, and I let my hands run over the defined muscles of his back. Mercifully he hits the light switch and plunges us into darkness before setting me down on the bed. I have a decent body but insecurities rule my mind. I had been afraid that we would get this far and lose the fire, but I feared for nothing.

Harry lays me down on the bed, hovering over me, kissing anywhere his mouth lands. My neck, my shoulders, my chest, my stomach. His eyes don't leave mine and there is no nervousness in my movements; I feel a strange sense of peace. Our bodies move in perfect synchronization, somehow knowing how to respond to each other. Harry's fingers lace through mine on top of the pillow and I feel strong in one of my weakest moments.

HARRY
There is something so sensual about the way Hayley's legs wrap around my waist, the way her knees bend, pulling me closer to her.

"Baby," I whisper, almost involuntarily. I feel the need to praise her, to encourage her, to practically worship her. Her arms wrap around my neck, the way they always do, as mine secure around her back. Hayley repeats my name over and over, her voice pushing me to the edge and straight over, losing sight of everything except for her.

We stay the way we are for a moment, both of us coming down and wrapped in each other. She lifts her head off my shoulder to look at me, pushing my hair off my forehead. We gaze at each other for a while, unfocused, lost in the moment. I press my lips to her forehead and then to her lips. "I love you," I whisper. Before she can answer I kiss her again, it's hard not to when her lips are so close to mine.

"I love you, Harry," she whispers back. She rests her forehead against mine for a moment before rolling off of me. I lay down next to her and pull her to me. I don't remember feeling this way ever before, feeling the need to be close to someone, especially after having sex. I usually distance myself, in my limited experience.

But with Hayley it is different, as things with Hayley tend to be. She rests her head on my chest and we lay in content silence. She picks up my hand and plays with my fingers, twirling them around her own. Fuck, everything with her just feels so damn right. I feel like I can't hold her close enough.

"Harry?" She says softly against my chest.

"Yeah baby?" I ask. She pauses.

"Is there any more pizza?"

My slow chuckle turns to full blown laughter and she hides her face in my chest. I'm still laughing as I wrap the sheet around her body and lift her off the bed, carrying her to the living room. She grabs a piece of cold pizza out of the box and invites me into her blanket. And we sit like that until she falls asleep, as close to each other as we can get.

Hayley eats two more pieces of pizza and smacks my shoulder when I tease her about it. Eventually she drifts off to sleep against my chest. I tuck the blanket around her and carry her to the bed, laying her down and crawling in next to her. I pull her flush against my body, needing to feel her presence.

This girl who eats too much pizza, who laughs at her own jokes, who incessantly rolls her eyes, who can't keep her phone charged worth a damn, who drinks her weight in coffee, who earns the love of everyone she comes across...she has gotten under my skin. So deeply under my skin that she seeped into my veins without me even noticing. Until now, when I can feel her in every heartbeat, every breath I take.

I've never loved someone so much, and I'm realizing now that I've never really loved anyone at all. Looking at Hayley's sleeping form, I finally realize what it feels like to live for someone other than myself.