Written

Chapter 44

HAYLEY

I wake up at noon with Harry's arms around me. Though I am at peace, a deep sadness from yesterday still lingers. I shuffle out of Harry's embrace and walk into the bathroom, leaving him sleeping behind me. I lean close to the mirror, examining the bags under my eyes and the puffy redness around them. I look like hell, too. I reach behind the curtain and turn on the shower; it makes an awful hissing noise before a jet of warm water spurts from the spout. I strip off Harry's t-shirt, the first one he ever let me wear, which has become my favorite article of clothing. I periodically check the water's temperature, waiting for it to become warm enough to wash away all evidence of my emotional breakdown. That can't happen again, I must be stronger than that. I pull my hair out of it's elastic band and glance in the mirror. I almost have a heart attack when I see Harry's body reflected in the mirror in the doorway behind me. How long has he been there? Our eyes meet in the mirror, and he walks slowly towards me until he is standing just behind me. His hand reaches up and brushes my hair off the back of my neck, where he slowly leans down and places a kiss. Slowly, Harry turns my body until it's face-to-face with his. Our eyes meet and his radiate such care, such love. Harry unsnaps the clasp on my bra and his eyes rake over my chest, but he doesn't touch. He removes his own clothes and steps into the shower that was intended for me, reaching his hand out of the curtain, gesturing for me to join him. Sighing, I step into the water and Harry pulls me into his arms once more. We stand like this for an immeasurable amount of time, my head on his chest and the warm water falling on my back. The steam rises around us and Harry's slightly damp hair sticks to his face. His lips find mine and we just kiss for a while. The kisses are not superficial, not meaningless. Each brush of his lips against mine is an apology, a reassurance, an act of pure love.

Harry pours soap onto the washcloth and then rubs it on my shoulders. The act is so simple, yet so sensual as I let him wash me. He takes great care to cover every inch of my body, his warm hands gentle and soft. I lean my head against his chest as he washes my back, thinking that I could stay like this forever and nothing would make me happier. When the soap is rinsed off of me, Harry reaches behind me to turn the shower off. His arm reaches out of the curtain to grab a towel which he then tucks around me, before grabbing another to tie around his waist. When we step out of the shower, Harry takes almost as great care to dry me off as he did washing me. I slide his t-shirt back on and wrap my hands around his waist. We haven't said a word to each other since this morning, but this peaceful calm is nice and I will take what I can get.

"Dry my hair?" Harry breaks the spell, handing me a towel. He bends over in front of me and I ruffle the towel over his head, scratching like a dog. I can't help the giggle that falls from my lips when he removes his head from the towel; his hair is curlier and frizzier than I have ever seen it. I finish getting dressed and watch in fascinated silence as Harry takes at least twenty minutes to fix his hair. When he is done we walk back into the bedroom. Harry's arms grab me around the waist and he buries his face in my neck.

"Are you mad at me?" He whispers.

"No," I say truthfully.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes for the thousandth time.

"Stop," I say. "Stop saying sorry."

"I am sorry, though."

"What are you sorry for, Harry? Your contract? You can't control that."

"Well yeah, that," he says. "But...I talked to Louis last night and he told me that you're really struggling with all this stuff with Ryan, and I'm sorry that I haven't asked you or talked to you about it. I mean, I didn't even know, Hales, I didn't know you were crying and I'm so sorry-"

"Stop," I cut him off. I can't listen to him berate himself any longer. "Harry if I wanted you to know, I would have told you."

"Why didn't you want me to know?" he asks, stepping away from me.