Written

Chapter 28

  If things are to be a secret between Harry and me, I cannot let myself be visibly upset with him. He immediately tries to speak to me when the band comes offstage, but I wave him off with a warning look. I guess it’s a good thing that he wants to talk to me, it probably means that he has some form of an explanation. Will it be worth listening to, though?

   Tonight’s show was the first of five sold out shows at the Staples Center in L.A., which means that there is not a whole lot of moving involved. This would normally be a good thing, being able to settle down for a moment. But for once, I’d like to be hard to find.

   Harry and I ride in the same car back to the hotel, Liam as an involuntary buffer between us. No one says anything. We meet up with the rest of the crew at the hotel and we all proceed to our floor together. Thankfully we cannot all fit in one elevator and I manage to squeeze myself in the one that does not contain Harry. I don’t know how I want to proceed with this situation but having his face in front of mine will not help me reach a logical decision. I practically race to my room when the elevator doors open and click it locked behind me. I wait for Harry to come, I know he will. As the minutes slowly pass by with no sound, I begin to wonder if this is it. He’s not coming, there is no explanation. Just as I am about to believe it, a light knock sounds from the other side of the door. I sit up and look through the peephole, both relieved and anxious to see Harry on the other side. I open the door without looking at him, signaling that he should enter. I close the door and then we are facing each other, awkward silence stretching miles between us.

   “It’s not real,” Harry starts. I expect anger to flare up inside me, but it doesn’t come. All I feel is exhaustion and a sadness that threatens to crush me. My head falls into my hands and I sink down onto the bed.

   “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

HARRY

   My heart twists in my ribcage when I look at her sitting, defeated, on the bed. How could I have been so stupid? Why wouldn’t I have just said something to her beforehand?

   “Why wouldn’t you tell me?” She asks, face still buried in her hands. The breath leaves my lungs at the sound of pain in her voice. I want to put my arms around her, to stop her hurt. But the way she is sitting, so closed off, alerts me to a stay away.

   “I just didn’t know what to say,” it sounds pathetic, I have no excuse.

   “So you say nothing?” She scoffs, rolling her eyes. I sink down on the floor next to the bed, careful to maintain my distance from her. She is looking at me in mild disgust.

   “Hayley, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I should have told you.” I sound so stupid right now, but I can think of nothing else to say.

   “Yeah, you should’ve,” she says. She takes a deep, shuddering breath, and I can tell that she is on the verge of tears. No. No, not on my account, she can’t be crying. Unable to stop myself, I scoot closer to her and wrap my arms around her legs, resting my head in her lap. At first she attempts to push me off of her, but she eventually stops fighting.