Written

Chapter 30

HAYLEY (One month later.)

When I wake up on June 30th, I don't feel any older. The transition from nineteen to twenty seems like it should be momentous, but I wake up in a hotel room in Phoenix, Arizona, feeling almost exactly as I felt the night before when I went to sleep. I suppose that Phoenix, Arizona is actually quite extraordinary seeing as if my life had continued normally, I would be in Atlanta right now. Probably on air, discussing one failed blind date or another. Among the things that had changed in the almost two months that I had been a part of this tour, my love life was the most important. I flash back to the night just two weeks ago when Harry had said what I had been waiting to hear for what felt like years.

*** The San Francisco sun was setting and the way it glinted off of Harry's hair was a little too fascinating. He had brought me up to the roof of the hotel, which, although it was dirty and seemed a little dangerous, had a spectacular view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Harry had taken me right over to the low wall that lined the roofs edge. I had leaned over the edge, trying to glimpse the movement on the street below. I felt a hand on my arm, pulling me back. "Don't get too close to the edge," Harry had warned. "Why?" I laughed and leaned back over the wall, loving how carefree it made me feel. "Hayley, you're going to fall," Harry's hand had pulled me back again and this time I didn't lean back over. The genuine panic in his voice had been enough to make me stop teasing him. He'd pulled me in closer then. "You need to take better care of yourself," he'd whispered. "I need you to be safe." Harry had had a few moments of emotional openness with me before, but he wasn't very open to showing his feelings, even when we were alone. He had then pulled me in for a kiss, like something straight out of a movie. Standing on a rooftop in the sunset, Golden Gate Bridge in the background, kissing the person who had come to mean so much to me so quickly. If I'd had it my way, I would have never let him pull away from the kiss. I was glad that I didn't have it my way when he'd rested his forehead against mine, eyes closed, and locked his hands behind my back. "I love you," he'd whispered. It was so gentle, so simple, so perfect. I hadn't been able to stop the smile on my face as I closed the distance between our lips, bringing him down to me. "I love you, too," I had told him. I'd had doubts and fears about loving him, but I knew that I did. Once I accepted that fact, it was a lot easier to let the words roll off my tongue. After our mini-revelation, we'd stood in an embrace longer than necessary, letting the sun completely fall below the horizon. "This is cheesy," Harry had said. "I think it's perfect," I smiled.***

That night I hadn't been ready to let go of Harry. And ever since then, I found it increasingly harder to let go of him every time I had to. Secretly dating a famous person proved to be a lot less interesting than the movies would have you believe. We moved from hotel room to hotel room, watched endless movies, and kept a running list of 'which hotel has the best room service desserts.' My favorite nights were the ones that Harry and I spent talking. When there is nothing else to do, talking is the best option. And unlike some people, Harry and I never run out of things to say. Harry asks questions, so many questions. From my favorite sandwich to my religious beliefs, he questions everything about me. In a short time, Harry has come to have almost memorized my mind.

It was getting harder to hide. The other boys knew; Harry had struggled so hard with whether or not to tell them, eventually deciding that they did not keep secrets from each other. I had been nervous, but I was pleased to find that all four of them treated us both the exact same. And they were very good at helping us hide. So good, in fact, that I often wondered how many times they'd done something like this, between the five of them.

The hardest part, surprisingly, was not the secretive nature of our relationship. The hardest part, for me at least, was that Maria Seltzer was still in the picture. She and Harry have been 'casually seeing each other' for the past month. She has no idea about me and Harry, she probably has no idea about me at all. Though it is all for the sake of the media, my stomach still turns every time someone mentions her name. Harry claims that he is miserable around her, but I know that they have formed a sort of friendship over the mutual awkwardness of a publicity setup.

A knock on the hotel door brings me out of my reverie. Harry impatiently knocks again when I take too long to answer. Honestly, I hate birthdays and I don't want to make a big deal out of this one. But Harry loves them, and he will want to make a big deal out of it. "Happy birthday!" Harry's wide smile is blinding the second I open the door. "How do you feel? Do you feel older?"

"I don't know about you," I smirk, "but I'm feeling-"

"Don't," Harry cuts me off, screwing his eyes shut. He grew tired of my Taylor Swift jokes after about the third straight day. Liam and Niall had joined in ruthlessly until Harry had finally put his foot down. But, since I actually do listen to her music, I feel entitled to use her against him at any and all times. He doesn't understand my logic on that, and neither do I really.

"Sorry," I say. "I won't do it again. Never. Ever ever."

Harry sighs. "Like ever?" He grins. And then he is kissing me and I forget everything else except for the fact that he is kissing me. "Happy birthday," he whispers again, into the kiss. I try to cling to him when he pulls away from me, but he shakes me off, laughing. "I have to give you your presents!"

"You could just kiss me all day and that could be my present," I say.

"That's not a bad idea, but you have to open this one first." He produces a small box out of the pocket of his jeans. I take the tiny box and shake it, hearing a small rattling from inside. Harry's eyes are excited and a little nervous, awaiting my reaction. I lift the lid and immediately fall in love with the gift, before even knowing his intention for it. Nestled in the box among a scattering of tissue paper is a tiny golden music note, about the size of my thumbnail. "It's for your bracelet," Harry eyes my wrist where the golden bracelet I had received from Gail, Mike, and Catherine always stays. "I thought maybe we could add to it as we go?" He sounds unsure. I am at a loss for words as I hold up the tiny charm, examining in the light. "If you don't like it, I can take it back and get you something else," Harry is rambling in my silence.

"Harry," I say.

"I just thought it was a good idea because you already have the radio charm which kind of resembles how we met, and then this one kind of resembles the tour, and-"

"Harry," I say again. His eyes finally meet mine as he falls silent. I scoot closer to him on the edge of the bed and put my hands on either side of his face. "It's perfect." It is. The thought behind it is so sweet, and it required more creativity than just buying some random expensive piece of jewelry. Harry must have known that I would love it, he's just second guessing himself in the stress of the moment.

"You like it?" He asks, somewhat shyly.

"I love it," I say, kissing him again. I am about to climb onto his lap when he pushes me away once more.

"I'm not done yet," he says. I groan. I hadn't been completely joking about the kissing as a present thing. "I wanted to make sure you liked the idea before I gave you this one," Harry explains, pulling an identical charm box out of his pocket. Another one? Tears threaten to spill over from my eyes when I see the small shape in the box. It is a tiny-scale gold charm of the Golden Gate bridge, reminding me of the time that Harry had finally said he loved me. "So you know I love you," he explains. "All the time." I just shake my head, slightly in awe. He could not have given me more meaningful gifts. I wipe my eyes, knowing that Harry will feel awkward if I react too excitably.

"I love it," I tell him. "I love it. I love you." I hold out my wrist and let Harry attach both charms. When they are both secured to the bracelet, I twist my wrist back and forth in the light from the hotel lamps. The charms all make a very faint tinkling sound, audible only if you are listening for it. They are evenly spaced on the bracelet leaving wide gaps between. Harry notices.

"Plenty of room for more adventures," he says, tapping my wrist. I kiss him again. This time he does not stop me as I crawl into his lap, burying my fingers into his mess of curls. He kisses me back, hands gripping my waist, moving fluidly with me. I am about to reach behind his back and pull his shirt up when I notice him make a small movement over my shoulder. I stop abruptly. "Harry Styles," I say slowly. "Did I just see you check your watch?" My voice is venomous and only slightly playful. He better have a damn good explanation. Harry slides me off his lap. "Sorry love," he chuckles. "Best we don't start that right now anyway. Got somewhere we have to be," he taps his watch. I huff and roll my eyes. I am getting used to Harry turning me away in the rare moments where I act unladylike, but I was hoping today...

"Wait, where are we going?" I ask.

"You'll see," he smirks.