Written

Chapter 23

HAYLEY

The idea of a relaxing weekend at home was shattered almost as soon as I pulled into my mother's driveway. She and Ryan were waiting for me, large but fake-looking smiles plastered on their faces. I knew immediately that something was not right. They did not comply with my demands that they tell me right away, my mom insisted that I come in for a glass of sweet tea, sit down and relax first. Then they dropped the bomb. My mind couldn't catch up with it fast enough, and I couldn't even react. In a split second, my world tilted on its axis and ever since it has been rotating half as fast as it used to. I am so lethargic, I spent the last few hours wrapped in a blanket on the couch, alone. It is an irrational response, but I don't feel like I have control over my reactions anymore. I have been laying here, zoning in and out, trying not to think. Eventually I fall into a deep sleep, hoping that no one wakes me up until I've forgotten the past twelve hours.

HARRY

As I sit outside the house where Hayley's mother and brother supposedly live, regret starts to settle in. I should not have come here. What if she isn't even here? What will I look like, showing up here, unannounced? I've come too far now to turn back. I cut the engine in the rental car that Paul had quickly secured for me. After several more deep breaths, I get out and approach the front door. Trying not to be sick, I knock three times. A man comes to the door, he looks to be about my age, maybe a little older. I know offhand that this is the brother she talked about. He looks nothing like I had imagined, nothing like the sickly, thin, pale boy I had pictured. He is tall and broad, reminding me of the classic jocks back in primary school. He seems to recognize me, too.

"Harry Styles," he says, sizing me up before reaching his hand out for a shake. "I'm Ryan Reid."

"Is, um, Hayley here?" I ask pathetically, as I shake his hand. He glances behind him into the house, looking worried. Is she alright?

"Uh. Yeah, she's here. But she's not...um. She's not... She's tired," He fumbles with the words, before sighing. "Come here, Styles." He steps out of the house and leads me down the driveway. I am a bit nervous to be so out in the open; as much as I hate having constant security, I know that it is necessary. I am constantly glancing over my shoulder, on edge, but we meet no one as we walk down the street. Ryan leads me into an abandoned-looking parking lot, sitting down on the edge of a crumbling rock wall. The entire development has a sort of charm to it; I can picture a young Hayley running through these streets.

"Has Hayley, um, told you anything about me?" Ryan asks. My stomach drops, and I immediately foresee this entire conversation. I know what he is going to say before he says it, still I hope against hope that I am wrong.

"She's told me a lot, yeah," I say.

"About my...condition?" He asks.

"Yeah," I cannot meet his eyes.

"Well, my condition has...returned." Bingo. There it is, I knew it. I knew it.

I cannot find words, I cannot think straight. I finally gather the courage to look him in the eyes, though. I owe it to him. Well not me in particular, but life owes it to him. Life owes it to him to give him someone who can look him in the eye after everything he's been through. So what if that person has to be me? I don't mind.

"It's worse than before, isn't it?" I ask him. He only nods. Selfishly, my mind goes immediately to Hayley. She will have been devastated, this changes everything. She may not want to come back with me, not after this.

"Styles, you gotta talk to her," he says.

"Hayley?" I ask. Stupid question, of course he means Hayley.