You lean over to begin recording.
*beep*
You sigh heavily, "A lot of you may know now, Ethan and I broke up." You look down and your eyes begin to water, "Although, I don't owe you guys any kind of explanation and you guys will probably take everything I say, and blow it out of proportion, this isn't necessarily for their fandom... its for mine."
"Ive realized I've accumulated a fan base and I have always looked at you guys as some of my best friends, I mean I use to text you guys about an outfit for Ethan's and i's dates. I would FaceTime you guys and you guys are just good people that should know what happened."
"So to start off with the rumors... a lot of trolls are saying I used him for fame.", you rubbed your eye, "That is no where near true. I begged that boy to keep me out of his videos, to not post me on his snapchat, keep me out of everything while I got my youtube going cause I wanted to do everything on my own. Grayson is my witness. People are just saying that because they think they can 'treat him so much better' but I gave him my all, we were happy. Like its not like we got into this big fight and ended it, no. We hardly ever fought. We were different. Im in love with him. And you trolls just think like... i don't know, but ... you guys loved him for who you saw on the internet, okay? I love him for who I saw behind the camera. Okay? And no, he's not a changed guy at all, but thats all you guys saw.... were the videos... but me...I slept in his bed and fell in love with the way he snored, okay? I held his hand and fell in love with the way he rubbed thumb against mine, okay? I would drive us around because he was tired and I fell in love with those muffled slurs, okay? I watched him break because of trolls and fell in love with the way he'd look at me to smile for his comfort."
You paused the video and cried.
And then continued.
"Another rumor is... I cheated? But I would never hurt Ethan. We broke up because we were both mentally and emotionally broken, and usually when one of us cries, we hold the other, but thats hard when you're both mutually weak. He hates tweeting about it because the fandom feels attacked but it is your fault. I know Ethan, in a million years would never agree, but all the judgement you guys bring and the lies you tell just do get attention messes them up. Both Ethan and Grayson."
another sigh.
"I can promise each and every one of you, I never looked at Ethan as a bank either. i didn't use Ethan for money.", you put your head down, "Even though he hated it, i would rush to grab the check and...", you slowly found yourself smiling, "we would play rock paper scissors and winner buys dinner or... winner buys the bowling match-", you interrupted your very own thoughts by laughing, "This one time, out of no where, he like grabbed the check at dinner and just ran with it... that man ran as fast as he could... just to pay. But i guess you guys don't care huh?"
"I can also promise you that age meant nothing to Ethan and, sure i'm two years younger, but our relationship started while he was still 17. Even if i begged, he wouldn't allow me to touch him sexually or anything after his 18th birthday. not until i was 18.... two years and no action.", you nodded proudly, "I did that. But i think it wasn't a problem because i wasn't immature at 16, i was already thinking about moving out, but not like running away - moving out, but just planning ahead and he was right there with me the entire time."
"Long story short... I'm sorry, that the dolan twin fandom feels so entitled to begin these rumors that tiger beat wants to address with me now... I shouldn't have to feel like crying in front of you and telling you how i feel will make you guys understand. I don't want to have to feel vulnerable. But i'm sorry that you guys need to see me weak. I'm sorry you guys feel obligated to know me just because i'm in love with a boy that some of you have never met. But you know what?", you look down and look dead in the camera and say, "Ethan Dolan, if you're watching this... I'm not sorry i love you. I will never take back any one of our fights or - or - or - any one of our late nights of doing nothing for the world. You were my forever and i still love you. You're my best friend... how great was i or did i have to be to have my best friend be you? I was one of the luckiest humans alive to have the man i love, love me back. But you're welcome anytime trough the door, you're welcome to share dinner with me... you're welcome to cuddle every night... you're more than welcome to eat pizza in my bed and kiss my cheeks that you love so much anytime you want because... i'm crazy bout you. The thought of you makes me crazy and... it's like... a good crazy... the kind of crazy... i don't want to lose." You begin to lose control. And swell up with tears again, "I'm not sorry i love you, but i'm sorry i lost you."
then the video ended.
for those of you confused, that was the video that you posted explaining why you and ethan are no longer together. you and ethan were crazy in love but the hate from the fandom got in the way and destroyed both of mentally.
the random spaces in between is you taking a breather within your video.
if y'all want i can post a "reacting video" imagine of ethan reacting to this.
love you lots ❤️
