Idiots in Space

17

There's a small explosion when he hits the core. I don't know what to do. I just scream. I scream and back away blinded by tears. Luka is also panicking the fuck out because he isn't quite sure what just happened. I could have prevented this. This is my fault. I'm the reason why he's dead. I don't deserve to be alive either. I can't-I can't.

"Taras? You there?" I whisper into the headset. I don't expect a reply. I don't expect anything-I shouldn't deserve anything-not even life itself. Shall we go out in flames as well? Live as a team, die as a team. I'm such an idiot!

I hear static in the headset. Wait. If he had truly gone out that wouldn't be working. It sounds like him. I'm positive. It's gotta be him.

I take a drastic turn and go as fast as the ship will allow and search for any sign of him. C'mon-c'mon-c'mon-there's still nothing. Nothing-nothing-nothing. Just fucking nothing! I slam my head back onto the chair and give up.

"Right there!" Luka screamed. He detected something on the censors. It's the same ship, how could he have escaped? Does that really matter-he's possibly alive.

"Taras! Are you there?!" I yell speeding to the supposed location of the ship. It's lights aren't working, neither is the ship itself. I try to look through the windshield and it looks like someone's lying in the seat. I exit our ship to attempt to search for Taras. I have to pry open the door and I enter. In the chair was Taras. He's passed out but still alive! My tears turn to tears of joy and relief. I pull his motionless body out of that ship and into ours. I carry him inside and quickly lay him on his bed.

We get back to where Silver is and she joins us in the ship.

"Oh my god." She's as shook as we are. "Are you okay Alex?" I'm dying inside.

"I'm fine. He's alive, he's safe, it's all good." Silver looks less concerned. She must be slightly worried about me. Fuck, you could have said no and got some quality time with Silver. Oh well. But honestly, I am glad he's still alive. I'm his stability and he's mine. It's a win win situation we've got here. Our hatred has morphed into something else. We're both suffering. We've come to throw self deprecating jokes at each other instead of folding chairs. Our bond is something I've never had with any other human. Not even with Leir, and he's my closest friend. This is something new, and different, and a foreign subject to me.

It's been twelve hours. He's awake. Finally. I'm still awake, everyone else has gone to sleep. I know I'm tired and need sleep but I need to speak with him. I'm sitting on my bed and I see him open his eyes and look around. He's surprised he's not dead.

"Hello Taras." I say. He slowly sits up and faces me.

"So I'm not dead." He looks around. "I'm still in hell either way." Ten out of ten joke Taras.

"Now's not the time for jokes." The atmosphere gets tense.

"Right..." He looks down

"Why did you do that!?" I yell, Luka sleeps like a rock so I don't need to worry about waking him.

"Why did you stop me!?"

"Live as a team die as a team Taras. Simple as that." It's more complex than that but okay. "I wouldn't be able to live with the fact that I could've prevented this!" Gettin' emotional again.

"Oh..." It gettin' emotional all up in here. "I'm sorry." Is this a genuine apology? "I should feel happy that you stopped me. But I really don't." He pauses. "But if I were dead I wouldn't get to see you guys again."

"True." Taras walks over to my side of the ship so we don't have to yell.

"What were you trying to say back there?" He asks, putting his elbows on his knees.

"Um.." Should I really tell him. Will this blow up in my face and things between us will never be the same again? You only live once, so here it goes. "If I tell you will you not throw me across the ship?" I cover my face with embarrassment. "Um. Taras I-I." Don't hyperventilate. "Uh.."

"C'mon. Spit it out." He looks directly at me. I clear my throat. Here goes nothing. 

"I love you."