Tyranny: Onwards

Chapter 102- Hazard

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"It's been too long Claire!" I recognize Oswald's voice without a second guess.

"What is it this time?" My greeting is blunt and to the point. As usual the polished red floor, and black air fade what might be around me.

"Straightforward as always I see, yet I know you have changed." He smiles and approaches with his slick backed hair and wise eyes.

Many times we have spoken. Too many. But I blocked the moments from my memory and chose to forget. I used to fidget constantly with the Key, now I barely ever acknowledge its very existence. Deep down I know he is a father to me, resembles the one I never had.

"So why am I here? To chat?" I cross my arms over my chest and lean into my right leg disapprovingly.

"Well, you need to be informed on what happened with Kol, don't you?" He tilts his head innocently.

"Right," I agree hesitantly and lower my voice.

"Well you see, I made contact with him, and he also felt the presence of Siron, since I am quite directly attached to him. Anyways I did some negotiating and really got to Kol, helped release his true powers. The thing is, the power you used was that from the coating around the sword that are the bars to his cage. Remember, the real Kol is like the yolk in an egg yet to be opened. The shell is thicker and harder, black and demonic, the white of the egg is the sword itself, and he is the golden yolk." He explains briskly.

"Yeah, so?" There is always a point to every word from his mouth.

"Don't toss the fact you felt blood lust, but not just any blood lust, one that nearly forced you to kill your friends. That's what will happen every time you use this power. If you can't beat it, well, I'll leave that for your imagination; but I would guess you don't want it to end like it did with your brother." Oswald sighs and sets a comforting hand on my shoulder when I harden to the memory.

"Just get on with it!" I snap angrily and frustrated. "Is there a way to get rid of the demonic energy?"

"Well, it was Siron himself whom locked Kol away, that is why that overpowering blood lust felt all too familiar to you. I am not completely certain of anything, for the bond between brothers is too complex for anyone, even brothers, to fully comprehend. This goes for any sibling connection."

"You bratt!"

A sting from the fist.

"I hate you! I'll kill you!" She screams at me.

Tears crawl down my face.

"Stop crying you fool!" Her eyes were popping and wide, weaving with red veins.

Her nail dragged the water away and I felt dead.

"Go die. Please."

She threw me hard against the wall.

"Stop this Oswald!" It feels too strange saying his name, for I feel I should call him dad...

"Ah yes, I forgot about your sister." He mumbles apologetically.

My teeth clench uncontrollably, finger nails draw my own blood from my palms, eyes shut tight, my heart pounds rapidly.

"There are lessons to be learned from that you know, you simply don't let your mind be opened so you can learn." He insists.

"Go away!" I gaze up at him strictly, fuming.

"Alright, alright! Anyways, I think if you find my wizard friends, they could possibly break it, there is the tiny chance that when you use Kol, he grows stronger and more able and maybe could do it on his own; however, this would require you holding back the evil from your mind still longer. And this might not even work at all." Oswald thinks aloud.

"Worth a try, now let me leave." I demand instantly.

"Trust me when I say you don't want to. You should stay here." His face darkens and he closes his deep eyes.

"Why should I trust you!" With that, I'm in the darkness alone. The soft, sweet, silent, darkness. Floating nowhere.

"WHY!"

I gasp and choke, too stunned to breath.

My brothers dear face flashes huge and terrible and screams. His face contorted and his voice harsh and croaky, eyes extremely bloodshot, saliva produced like a wolf with rabies, clearly not himself.

Tears threaten me. I just want it to stop! I want the chains to be gone! I want to forget! I want to live without this weight! Yet I could never get rid of it, that'd make me more guilty.

I'm utterly trapped.

"WHY!" He screams.

Again and again he flashes before me until he's a constant image.

"WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!" On and on he cries in anguish and horrid agony.

I try to cover my ears, pulling myself into a ball from my internal pain. The sound does not settle or fade at all, as though it's in my head.

At last the pressure is too much and I burst.

"I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW!" I gasp and rage out. "I'M SORRY.." My voice fails and trails away.

"I-..." I choke. "I'm so...sorry...I'm so sorry..so sorry...so sorry... sorry...sorry.." Repeatedly I state my apologies in terror and anguish. Broken by the recollection running through my mind. Stabbed by the feeling. Dripping in my regret and guilt I feel as though I'm sinking, yet I'm floating in Nowhere. A blackness.

Night is dragged and long. Too long.

Taunting and guilt, regret an shame. No one ever taught me how to deal with these feelings, no one ever showed me. I've always had to do it all alone. So that's what I'll do. Or maybe they aren't meant to be dealt with?

I'm trying to tell and believe lies. Oswald...Oswald was right. I have difficulty thinking this thought and accepting it. There are ways I've limited my own mind and put red tape up. Insanity grips me as pain consumes my being and defines my soul. Regret and guilt now my very core. What have I done to myself? How have I allowed this? How have I allowed one moment to define me as a person and make my future, be my past?