Tyranny: Onwards

Chapter 147- Treehouse

Sure enough, we catch up at last just as the sun hits its total pride in height, the coloured shirts in front of us stop and voices sound softly through the leaves, we swiftly press through and Phoenix presents his usual and cheerful greeting, Aegis wastes no time on such things and immediately gets us all moving once more. Rin stays away from everyone pretty well, at the edges and doesn't greet anyone at all. Seeing her so pained and hurt knowing I can't do anything is the worst and most sick feeling.

My mind flashes back to the night where blood sprayed everywhere, and to every other time I killed or was in serious danger, it gets awful where I can hardly breathe under the pressure, it takes my absolute strength and being to stay standing. MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP! Please, please, anyone, please, please go away, I know what I did, I know, I know...

Startled and terrified, heart punching my ribs my hands are forced over my ears as wave after wave of fear and guilt and more fear hits me, again and again with the smallest reminders. Even the glinting water sets me off. What...what is happening to me? What is this? What's wrong with me? I glance at my hands as they shake and fumble, I desperately attempt to use one to hold the other.

"Are you alright Claire?" Nichele moves to my side as Genesis pass my arm in concern.

"Uh, ye-yeah," I stammer anxiously and hide it all away, tucked neatly beneath layers of brick.

"Where's Hester? And what's going on?" Of course, she must have been confused as to why Aegis left them back there, and she probably has noticed the change in Rin too.

"I-um...I-I.....I had to kill her." my voice shakes and fades. "She turned into-hm-something, inhuman, she was going to kill us." My eyes automatically widen with the fear of memory.

Calm down Claire, this is stupid, you have no right to be scared, it's all over too. Why are you scared? What are you scared of? 

I don't feel scared yet my mind has seized up on its own and my heart races without prompt, my hands shake and strength fades by its own means.

Get a grip on yourself.

"What...my...my sister.." Nichele stutters and freezes up completely. Wait, what!?, sister? But...

"She...she was your sister?" I dearly pray I misheard, that she will hold and comfort me, though at the same time I don't want people to touch me right now.

"Y-yeah," Nichele whispers, "I was planning on telling her since me and her dad left when she was young...I've been looking for her..." Now the pit falls and I want to just stop existing. Not die, but to just stop being alive, stop existing.

"I-I'm so sorry," I apologize despite already knowing that no apology can atone for my actions.

"Claire, it isn't your fault. She wasn't human anymore right? And you were honestly defending yours and Rin's life?" Nichele check with me and I cannot believe she can forgive me for this heinous crime so swiftly and be so damn trusting.

"Well, yeah. She surely would have killed. But-but that's no excuse for what I did." It's difficult to find any comfort. I'm expectant of hateful eyes and I understand people hate for me everywhere. At the school, they always told me not to blame myself for how I was raised and taught, but that facts are, I could have just stopped or killed myself instead. Why did I have such a desire to save people I never knew?

Sure they held my family captive but I killed hundreds, survived two wars, became an assassin. Was it worth it? No. It wasn't. I should have snuck out and taken my family back, should have stood up, made a plan. Too bad there's no way to go back, and no way can I use the future to make up for it, good and bad don't balance one another, and there's no amount of deeds to make up for taking a because a lost life can't be filled, fixed, or returned. The best I can do is move on knowing my past and doing things differently, learn from it.

"Listen, Claire, it's okay, she wasn't human even so don't go blaming yourself. Sure I'll mourn, but it was you or her and you both fought it out. I can't blame you." Nichele comforts but it seems muted and doesn't reach me.

"Yeah," I whisper as we continue to walk, my pants still wet.

The sun rolls on and away, melting over the ridge peaks on our left, setting the river current on fire as floating silks. Soon night will come and we should reach the wizards soon too at long last. Rin grips the staff and still has said nothing at all to anyone and no one bothers her. Dagwood and Blaze seem to be doing well, Blaze it still seemingly wobbly but Dagwood keeps him steady. Thankfully the wound never saw infection or anything and has healed up nicely. Still, Blaze seems dull and upset with acceptance but this is certainly expected

"Hey, are we almost there?" Phoenix asks Nichele loudly and she nods with a reassuring grin, pointing a finger to probably the tallest Pine tree in the entire valley.

"They live under that huge tree!?" Phoenix gawks in excitement.

"No, they live in it, they have made a tree house there and have hollowed out a cave under the roots for storage and other things, you'll see." Nichele elaborates.

"They were smart since it's near the river too and probably much safer higher up." I think aloud and Nichele nods in agreement.

"There's also a protective barrier about it to prevent monsters like Imzana from entering and many animals have figured this out and now dwell most often in the meadow about it." Now I am even more curious and excited.

There's no doubt Rin heard all of this but she still doesn't look up or change in any way. My guess is that she doesn't want to give up the only artifact left that is our reminder of Hester's existence and time with us. I remember Hester first told us that she was recapturing the staff for the wizards, but since she ended up being a traitor, what's the real story?