Tyranny: Onwards

Chapter 123- Empathy

Phoenix strikes a look at Aegis as if to ask if they should provide the water and food as requested. In turn, the brown hair Luzumi shrugs and hesitantly forms a light stone cup while Phoenix again conjures an isolated bubble of water to fill it. When they provide Gen with the water and a couple skewers of meat; which they sear instantaneously prior, she takes them, a spark of gratitude in her deep hazel eyes.

"Thanks!" her soft limber hands receive the nutrients and she begins to take a sip of water. It becomes all too obvious Gen knows a thing or two about something, as she does not gulp and stuff the food and water down, rather, takes her careful time as to not feel nauseous later.

Hester and Rin sit with us now and Gen keeps sending her eyes to peer cautiously at Hester in a mysterious and ominous way that slightly unsettles me, making me feel like I should sit between them to keep Hester safe. Genesis has now finished the meat and licks her lips, nose wriggling wildly to absorb the new scent and burn in into her mind forevermore.

I catch the sound of a gasp and shuffle without a moments thought to Blaze and Dagwood. Dagwood has the colour back in his face and appears far healthier than a few days back, thank goodness for that. Blaze also has the colour in his eyes and thankfully has remained clean of infection and free of any complications over the days, though I know it is only a matter of time before he must tackle the fact of his missing left arm.

Dagwood then smiles at me before moving to seat himself next to Phoenix, being sure to stay close by his brother. Blaze is very lucky to have such support, it will definitely be needed through the next months and perhaps years of his life.

The wind still hurtles into the trees and clatters the leaves above and the hail smacking into the above canopy gives a sense of safety and shelter, but also freedom as the canopy is so high. The pieces of hail fall harmlessly to the mosses below, having lost most speed and been cracked prior.

"Are you okay?" I quietly and calmly address Blaze, his face is pulled and twisted with an agony, the right arm he has clutching where his left might have been resting had it been there still. What a stupid question for me to ask, of course he's not okay!

"It, it feels like it's still surely there, like I should be moving it..." Blaze trails off, it seems he is unable to put the thoughts and feelings into words.

"It's called phantom pain, but you will be okay, I promise." my attempt at comfort from one friend to another helps ease his face and relax muscles.

"Yeah, it just seems my brain cannot yet comprehend the whole situation, you know?" He gazes up at me and the glitter in his eyes shocks me, that even in such a place and time, he can be so sure so strong, so confident and filled with a hope, as though he already knows this will all pass with time. As though this is but a season or a snowflake landing on a window just to melt away within mere seconds.

"Well, I can't fully ever understand, even if I lost a limb, our minds are always going to be different; however, I can put myself in your shoes best I can and imagine it in a real way from my view. Although I do understand the concept you are trying to pass." After the words are said, I realize I was basically thinking aloud as I never have before and do not know why I did this. The way I put it makes me sound like some sort of robot or walking textbook almost.

Though, it seems the words were not a waste, but quite the opposite indeed. Blaze is chuckling as though my shock and self-annoyance is written clear on my face. I do check for this considering I did just speak my thoughts aloud.

"You are good at distraction," Blaze is still laughing, if I was him I'd want to snatch every opportunity I could to find cheer. Or maybe I'd hide away in the dark for a long time. Now I decide I will try hard to put myself in his shoes.

Gazing up I refuse to look and see my arms, leaving them completely still and relaxed. I then make myself aware of my left arm and try my best to convince my mind it is gone and in conflict of this. This does not take long and the fingers tingle as though agitated. It's gone, it's not there anymore, it's gone forever. Over and over I repeat this.

No longer can I climb as well or run with such ease until I learn, I must swim differently, cooking will be harder, battle will prove challenging, no left hand for balance or cushioning. No left arm to bounce me from dangers, no left arm to carry anything, now I cannot hug anyone, including Genesis, the same way. Will hugs feel empty? Now sports will be difficult and I know there are small tasks I am forgetting I even use my non-dominant arm for.

Still I try convincing myself and realize how vulnerable and empty I feel, and a little angered too, wondering why and how.

"Claire?" Blaze interrupts before I am about to fall in deeper, I must have been starring off.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," I apologize and realize suddenly and become shocked, my arm, I see it, yet it feels cold and dead, almost fake. Now I must go back and remind myself it is there and it is real.

Blaze's grin is warm and I get the sense he is conscious of my efforts. "Don't be too hard on yourself about this, okay? It's my injury and something I'm dealing with, I don't want my own burdens to fall upon you as well." He explains gently.