Tyranny: Onwards

Chapter 103- Perfect Beauty

I waken terrified, chest heaving from great chaotic fear, eyes trying to adjust in the dark with such haste to scan for danger, hands feeling whatever they can reach, legs reaching to kick out before all my limbs spring in and I am tucked in a ball of safety. It's as though I'm trapping my thoughts and absolute terror inside, so that no one else can notice or can feel it; though there is no one around.

Genesis understands, she must feel the unstoppable controlling vibrations of shock that clench my body, every muscle, ties knots and forms cramps. She licks me and at first I'm irritated, annoyed, wanting to be alone; but I have grown smarter than that and allow her comfort and company. Soon I am relieved and grateful for her presence and the hope she carries which never diminishes, quickly I fall into her and my arms pull her tight and close. 

She allows me to go through my internal conflict before urging me to notice the pale and weak light of a coming dawn. Owl hoots diminish, and the dark places are obliterated, shadows made softer and kinder. Not a breeze reaches us here in the valley under the obsidian overhang of rock. Deciding with resolve to try and push on, to keeping going, I stand and exit the refuge for the weary.

Now that we've seen everything, and considering the current state of our company, I have come to the conclusion to head back already; then surely there will be plenty of time to explore once they're here and safe too. I give a sigh, and smile to encourage myself, to bring on the start of a golden light within my own mind and heart.

Breathing in the sweet fresh airs with memories of Spring desperately clinging on, it refreshes me completely. I grin with the sight about us and we make our way peacefully back to the peak of this mountain.

For long I avoid the topic of my conflict about Rin and Hester, yet feel the need to cry when I remember, I don't even know why I want to cry. Right now is not the time, I need to get over it. But I keep telling myself that, so why haven't I? Why can't I?

It's funny, I never knew what I had, until I'd lost it completely and forever.

I was all too focused on the negative and terrible aspects of my current state to lift my chin from the sucking floor to see, all too blinded by my own blindfold of darkness to see the sunrise. When we lost Blaze, I suddenly found how much we really depended on him, not having known a bit of the need before.

It shouldn't have taken such a near death encounter for me to find this out and appreciate it.

With more resolve and firmer, surer steps I go forwards and upwards, it takes us only about two hours, half the time as we sprint with our learned agility up most of it's daunting, forbidden sides.

Once at the top, the view it the same; rolls of snow with shades stolen from the sky, the valley lush and deep, walls of white edging the black rock, no tree about, and added to this, in the East, a red and gold clash like paint calmly deciding to blend. In my mind, this could be the metaphor of blood electroplated in gold, there's always a reason. Always something to take from it, learn from it.

On and on we walk confidently, Genesis does her skipping, hopping, trot at my side with her lolling tongue from thirst. It is then I recognize my own thirst and my own hunger partnered with it.

Soon we have come to the third peak, each one lower than the last. Once the sun has gone to its point and shone in its high pride, each moment I seem to subconsciously glance hopefully over my shoulder at it, and each time it is lowered far too much for my liking. Why do I look hopefully over my shoulder? What do I expect to find?

I've no answer.

Just like I do not know the reason behind my name. Of course there's the Name Dictionary definition, but there's always something more, something about us relating us to our parents or something of pride in a family line. There's just always more. But what is it?

To my grand surprise, I do not believe this has been my turmoil for quite some time as I would have originally expected it to have been. I have no clue how I could forget something so important, something that could potentially have large effects on our lengthy journey too.

Admittedly it could be for the best, considering I could not bear any distraction in my searching for Blaze, nor in a fight. Many times it would have been quite the grave distraction. Only now do I dream of the thickly frosted trees glittering so brilliant in the sun, I recall the drapes leaning from each bough, and the unique blue-green needles from conifers. With these memories, I picture the rabbit kabobs and my stomach rumbles in irritation.

Genesis pants and licks her lips every now and again. On this black rock and upon this range of mountains the winds are far warmer and the air sweet with out being twisted with bitterness of cold. Soon we find a simple and straightforward path to descent into the snowy field so vast.

We crawl down with safe haste and walk at the snows edge to return once more to where we first met the obsidian. It takes little time to come across our own windswept prints. They do not exist in the distance however due to the fact I was running atop the frozen crust of white snows.

This is enough direction and angle for me though, so I fist let Genesis lap up some hydration before we depart the picture of perfect beauty.