Chapter 71: Love and Hate

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*Carter's pov*

[I go in the house and into my room I slam the door and start on my homework 7:00pm someone knocks on my door and says:]

"Hey Carter dinner is ready."

"I'm not hungry right now."

"You have to eat."

"I'm not hungry right now!"[Alicia leaves after a while I go into the dining room I reach for a plate Dad says:]

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Making a plate."

"No you should've been in here."

"Come on Dad you can't be serious. What am I supposed to eat?"

"I don't know but your mother spent too much time making this food and I only feed my kids."

"I'm sorry about what I said this morning."

"Are you? You know I may not have participated in the making of you and your brother but I would die for you guys and I would kill for you. Being a father has nothing to do with being biologically connected it means showing up and being there through the storms and through the sunshine. I'm not going anywhere."

"You always say that and then you leave!"

"I always come back."

"Except for the times you almost don't!"

"You're upset."

"Forget it."

"Speak your mind."

"Nothing. I've lost my appetite."[I go back into my room and finish my homework I call Alex he answers:]

"Hey. What's going on?"

"I just need to vent."

"Okay. That's what I'm here for."[Carter and I talk for hours it's after two am when I hear Carter mumble:]

"I'm scared that if he leaves again then I'll never see my dad again."

"Have you tried to tell him?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yea it does. Your feelings matter Carter."

"Can we just change the subject?"

"I wanted to say thank you for staying on the phone with me until I was asleep last night. It means more than you think."

"You're welcome."[Grandpa Jay opens the door he says:]

"Hey kiddo. Mind if I come in?"

"I'm kind of busy right now Grandpa."

"Your mom said lights out."

"Okay."

"I know you're scared about your dad leaving again but he'll do everything he can to get home."

"Yea."

"Do you want to go to dinner Monday night?"

"Sure Grandpa."

"Get some sleep. I love you."

"I love you too."[Grandpa leaves Alex and I continue to talk until we fall asleep I wake up at 8 am I'm still on the phone with Alex he says:]

"Morning sunshine."

"Were we on the phone all night?"

"Yea I guess so."

"Wow. What are you doing today?"

"Taking my grandparents out to brunch then it's my cousins birthday so I'm getting him a bunch of LEGO sets."

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