Live On!(Attack on titan fanfic)

CH23:

~Marisa~
I couldn't believe that Kodia made it into the top ten.
SHE IS AMAZING AT EVERYTHING!
Mikasa made it as well as expected, she's also amazing at everything, damn I'm so jealous.
And then there's Eren, looks like he made it as well. Good for you. I couldn't help but feel salty, I know and this slight feeling annoyance with him cause he blindly boasted about taking down all the Titans and stuff. It ain't that easy mate.

Armin stood next to me with a smile on his face.
"Isn't this great Marisa? They both made it!" He whispered happily.
I nodded sheepishly.
The higher ranked instructors stood at the top of the stairs while the top ten stood in the front and the rest of the trainees stood at the back.
The night was cool and the torches were flickering but shone strong light onto our faces.
They started to explain the fields you could apply for.
"You can be stationed at the walls and protect the citizens as member of the Garrison,"
"You can fight the Titans in their own territory as members of the survey corps,"
"And you can serve the king by controlling the crowd and protecting order,"
"However, only the top ten can enlist in the military police,"

I took in every information they said and closed my eyes. I had a slight problem. Garrisons? Or survey corps?
My mind immediate thought of him, who saved me the day the others fled and abandoned us. I grabbed my the sides of my pants and knitted my eyebrows together.
If I join the Garrisons, I might meet him again. That's right, I have to be like him, to properly protect the citizens from harm. I promised my self that.
But I couldn't.
Eren's speech suddenly came to my mind.
How determined he was, how passionate he was. I hated to admit it but it did get a me a little.
Should I join the survey corps as well?
I wanted to yell in frustration but if I did they'd probably kick me by the ass and throw me out of military camp or something. Maybe not that extreme but I'd definitely get some ass whopping by Keith fucking Shadis. Just thinking if him made me want to punch someone beside me, but it was Armin who was next to me so I decided to have some self control for once and kept my fists to my self.

Once the assembly was over, Kodia pumped her fists in the air and patted her self on the back.
"Yes! I made it!"
I clapped slowly. "Good for you," I said in a nonchalant tone, Kodia looked at me and her smile dropped form her face. I looked her sympathetically and made a little smile.
"I'm kidding, God you look like a little kid,"
She sighed and slapped in the head, "I thought you were really unimpressed, or jealous, or whatever, salty?"
My eyebrow twitched, "ahha...not at all,"
Kodia put her hand on her hips and pushed her chest out proudly and started to prance around while I stood there clapping rhythms like a weirdo.
"Hey! Nice going Kodia!" We were interrupted by none other than Eren, Mikasa and Armin tagged beside him. Kodia stopped prancing around and straightened her self up.
"Thanks! Congrats to you as well!"
Eren scratched at his chin, "Haha thanks!"
They turned all looked at Armin and I all of a sudden. My hands felt clammy from embarrassment.
I immediately grabbed Armin and slung my shoulder over him, "Ah Yeh! Um we are good! We didn't make it in the too ten but we still good right? Armin?"
Armin looked at me hesitantly, "Uh Yeh?"
I nodded in approval and quickly patted his head, which I still don't know why I did that.

"Anyways!" Eren said as he broke the awkwardness, "Which fields are you guys going to join?"
"DEFINITELY SURVEY CORPS!" Kodia immediately said as she put her hand up. She and Eren high fived each other.
"I'm going where ever Eren is going," Miksa replied while Armin said the same.
I felt four pairs of eyes on me.
I fidgeted with my fingers, "Uh, I was thinking maybe the Garrisons?"
"Really?"
"Yes!  I promised someone I'd be there, or something like that,"
"But what about survey corps? Helping humanity and extinguishing the Titans?"
"I really don't know, Eren,"
Every one went quite.
Kodia rested her hands on my shoulders, "Now now every one! Who said the day isn't brighter than it is Yeh?"
"Kodia it's night time right now,"

She looked nervously around and laughed awkwardly to her self.

*****

"Hey Marisa," Kodia said below me.

I shifted in my bed sheets and replied, "Yes?"

"Tell me, why do you want to join the Garrisons again?"

I sighed and flipped around my pillow, only to find her face staring right at me. I nearly suffocated her there and then but I held back.
"Well? Tell me!" She said as she jumped onto the top bunk with me. I blinked at her and sighed again.
"Alright, I'll tell you why,"
We both rested our backs on the wooden walls of the cabin and sat there in silence.

"On the day the Titans invaded, all the garrisons fled, the cities he's were abandoned and my sister and I were left alone. She died trying to protect me. When there seemed to be no hope left I just sat there and cried. But a man came to me, he saved me from my fate and delivered me to safety despite his injuries. He was in a the Garrisons, he was the only one who didn't flee, he was brave. I aspire to be like him, and to also meet him again,"

"Oh I see,"

"Yes, and I'd like to protect the citizens with my heart. Because it is the right thing to do, it would be what he would've done."

"I understand, I wish I had someone to look up to, maybe an older role model."

"My sister was my role model, she was kind, nice, firm but had a gentle heart. She'd be happy if I joined the Garrisons, she'd be proud of me, that I'd be protecting the citizens-"

I chocked on my words as my throat felt heavy.

"Marisa why are you crying?"

I tried to turn away and hide my face but Kodia pulled me close and hugged me tight.
"Don't worry! You have me here! We can help humanity together, I'm always by your side!"

She said as she wiped the tears from my face with her hand and smiled at me, like every time. I wondered how I would live without her, she was kind, funny, strong and good willed.
But I'm weak, selfish and careless.

I wondered, if maybe Kodia was the reason why I pursued every day. That this friend could make more than a change, that I could follow her and turn my self into a better person.
I had decided, my heart was set.
I wanted to join-