GAUCHE, kageyama

十五

chapter fifteen!

GAUCHE

33-31.

Simply seeing those numbers rendered everyone silent until the opposite side of the cheering stands blew up almost immediately. Yet all she could hear through their roaring noises was the dull ringing reverberating in her ears.

That was that.

A wrap to this long game that held everyone with bated breaths. Mina sat on her seat for the longest time until her fingers moved subtly on the handles of the seat, a reaction that kicked in weakly in response to the outcome of this game. Sweat dripped from their skins and onto the floors, heads drooped down while the weigh of their loss sinked in, little by little. And it did for her too, despite a blank look staining her visage.

But despite the thousands of emotions they must've felt, they stilled showed their sportsmanship, mustering their thanks to Aoba Jōhsai and shook their hands even if their faces were crumpled. Then they turned to the crowd who cheered them on. Mina could see the hard lines growing on their foreheads, lips pursed tightly to hold in any raw emotions that could slip out. Kageyama looked like that, skin glazed with sweat and dripped on the ground with that hard look on his face.

"Thanks for the game!"

Soft stream of the water running down Kageyama's scalp became the source of sound that filled the gap of silence between them. Mina didn't say anything nor did he. Anything she might have said could possibly not help him at all and fuel his own self grieving. So she stood there, fiddling with her fingertips as if it was the most interesting thing she had encountered all day.

But she had to say something eventually, right?

"... You were cool," The brunette glanced at him cautiously before looking down again. "Thank you for showing good game, Kageyama-san."

He didn't say anything back but he turned the tap off and stayed still, allowing the driblets of water trickle down the fringes of his hair. Mina couldn't see his face but she could imagine what it might've looked like. But maybe he might've felt worse from her words— consoling someone when having no experience in doing so was a tough task, especially when she herself was barely consoled by others. Sheer panic rose from her face but Kageyama immediately stood up, turning to her with such blue, fists balled up like he was going to burst in the seams.

"I messed up," He frowned, biting down on his lips. "At the end there, they read my attack. Because of me, the whole team isー"

There it was. The self-loathing coping mechanism that everyone was used to doing; even she did it. To blame themselves in a mistake that could not have been overseen in the heat of that moment, there was no one to be blamed. But Kageyama felt like it was his, for setting it up that way which was immediately guessed by Aoba Jōhsai. Mina was used to seeing something like this. She has done it multiple times and it was never a pretty sight.

"Stop it," She cuts him off with a frown now on her face, no longer fiddling with her fingers as she turned to him. "No one's fault. You tried your best and that good, okay?"

"Butー"

"Kageyama-kun, learn to accept and move on," She was consistent on making him understand. "Everyone makes mistake too, not everything is perfect. You can be sad but do not make it a permanent pain. Losing is another way of learning, you know? Means that to, um, grow from being a loser— oh, no! Um, losing! Yes, that word!"

Mina started to fumble from her words, frantically trying to make up for the lack of extensive vocabulary but Kageyama's expression was no longer hard nor was it grim— it was neutral, a soft yet blank look while he watched every single move the girl made. Then his lips twitched upwards in the slightest, a ghost of a smile that Mina failed to catch for being too caught up in her frenzy.

And then a tear slipped down and trickled down his cheeks. Mina stopped talking as she stared at the boy who started tearing up out of nowhere. A childish look stained his visage, cheeks puffed as he bit his lips in hopes that his tears would stop but it kept coming down like water through a broken dam. Kageyama turned around to wipe those tears away while his cheeks blossomed darkly out of the sheer embarrassment of crying in front of someone. The brunette might start to make fun of him now, calling him with words that might ache his heart but all he received was a pat on the shoulder.

"There, there," He heard her softly speak. "Let it all out."

Kageyama might not have understood what she said but he allowed those tears to come out. She was gentle, soothingly patting him in a rhythmic manner. It was as if all those emotions he held in behind that mean image of his was now released in one full blow— his chest was now lighter but the tears didn't stop. A towel was thrown over his head in an attempt to cover him and only then did he start sniffling, softly and weakly.

The cicadas in the background were loud, unbothered and thriving in the heat of the season. This was the start of their season, to make the most out of the time they had left. And Karasuno was like that too. This was just the start for them. They can only get back up on their feet and rise high towards the end of the line. Maybe there wasn't an end, a countless cycle of wanting to improve and get better— Mina didn't know. But she hoped they would thrive as much as these cicadas did out in the heat of the sun.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

kageyama crying while eating
was one of the biggest uwus
i busted caUSE WHAT WAS
HE SO CUTE FOR