Running In Circles // pjm.

Square 1

The nervousness I felt going into work the very next day was scarier than when I started seeing Jimin almost three months ago. I kept my head down and snaked into the building, avoiding all eyes, not knowing which ones knew my secret. 

Jimin and I didn't talk much after our conversation was wrapped, and he had left quietly after, without saying goodbye. i had closed my eyes at the sound of the door closing in my home and my heart.

Giving me no time to cope, I got called in to overlook fittings for the boys the following morning. I silently cursed at Mia for being on leave for something I could have just handed off to her.

I ducked into the elevator and rushed out of it on hearing the ting.

My eyes- unfocused and wavering- caused me to trip lightly, my eyes not focusing, and a strong, pale hand held on to my elbow.

"Careful, Tara," muttered a husky voiced Yoongi, brushing past me and stepping into the fitting room.

I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to block the barrage of emotions I would feel at the slightest glance of a certain Park Jimin.

I had to focus on work as if I hadn't spent half of last night crying into my pillow, and the other half dreaming about a confusing black-haired man saying 'doll' over and over again.

I stormed into the room and almost instantly got to work- pushing all sounds and voices into the background. Jungkook and Namjoon stiffened when I approached them for their fittings, alerting me of the boys' awareness of everything that had happened.

Yoongi and Jin acted like nothing happened, which I was thankful for. Jin and I had a self-appreciative conversation as usual and Yoongi told me his plans to spend the night in his studio working on his new album.

Taehyung asked once if I was alright- when I nodded dismissively, the subject was forgotten and he moved on to work talk, taking up a large part of my time making adjustments and variations to his ensemble. I smiled at him fondly, thankful for his friendship, and his brows perked up on catching my expression, "what?"

I shook my head and patted his, urging him to stay while I dealt with Jimin. He hummed and nodded curtly, hanging around me while moments later Jimin waded into the room, an assistant following closely with his jacket.

Jimin and I weren't friends before we started our little rendezvous. We were hardly even acquaintances- at best we had been awkward, distrusting colleagues. I could not snap back into easy conversations with him, since I'd never had them outside the realm of our 'relationship.' I looked away and took a deep breath, my psychological blinders clicking in place.

Jimin cleared his throat and stood before me and I instructed his assistant to bring me a certain rack of clothing from the other side of the studio. I held a steady conversation with Taehyung, who leaned on the table a couple of feet away from us. We conversed rapidly back and forth, avoiding any sort of contact with Jimin. He, too, stood silently with his hands clasped in front him, shifting his feet uncomfortably and looking around the room.

I itched to kiss him. And then scream at him.

The rack was slid next to me and I curtly informed him to try on a number of clothes and choose the ones he liked best. He nodded wordlessly and disappeared behind the other racks and I relaxed almost instantly, my knees buckling under me. Taehyung grasped my shoulders and held onto me and I sunk into his embrace.

Being strong is hard.

Taehyung said nothing, simply holding me in his arms and occasionally stroking my head.

"Do you want to go out and play video games with me and Jungkook today?" he asked after a handful of minutes.

I shook my head delicately.

"I have to study. I have to give my pending tests so I can graduate with the rest of the class," I whispered, pulling away from him.

He let me go but kept a hand on my shoulder.

"Whenever you want to go. I'm here for you, you know," he smiled fondly at me.

"I know," I whispered back before we were interrupted by a loud, harsh voice.
"I'm done. Here's everything I'd like to change," Jimin began, brusquely. I sighed and pulled out of Taehyung's embrace, stepping into a cold, strictly 'business' conversation with Jimin.

He screwed his eyes shut while I did some measurements and adjustments, and I, making sure I don't touch him in a way that could set me off.

When it was over, I bowed abruptly, never once meeting his eyes, and he nodded curtly, whispering 'thank you' before I hurried away.

Tears floated at the bottom of my eyes and I looked up and willed them away. It had only been one day of working around him and I knew it was going to be hard. I shook my head, willing myself to keep it together as I gathered my things and emotions and made for home.

This is how it is now.