Stuck Between Death And Life

Don't cry over me

[!WARNING!]

Don't read this chapter if you are easily triggered. Some readers might find this chapter disturbing, so I recommend not reading it if you are sensitive. You have been warned.

(Later that Saturday) Jolene's POV: I saw the white, familiar car appear on the street through the kitchen window. Kyung had just cooked lunch so there was a huge mess in the kitchen and on the dining table. We had just finished eating when she arrived. It was a bit hard to eat because every time I took a bite of something, my lip started hurting since it had just been pierced.

"Do you want me to help you with the dishes before I go?" I offered Kyung.

"Yeah, it would be a huge help." He responded with a smile. I told my mom that I need to help Kyung with the dishes before we could leave. I was suprised she didn't notice my piercing, but just said that it was alright that I stayed a but longer. I finished helping Kyung with the dishes and then he suddently told me to follow him up to his room. I followed him up the stairs wondering what he wanted. Kyung grabbed the bottle of the weird liquid. There were still needles and rings spread all over the floor that I almost stepped on.

"Careful." He warned me. He then handed me the bottle.

"I want you to use this to clean your piercing at least once a day. Just pour some liquid on a piece of paper and gently rub it against your lip." I was suprised. Kyung almost sounded like professional after all. Or did he just care for me?

"How do you know all this stuff?"

"Ya boy did his research." He said and chuckled. He followed me down the stairs and got me a plastic bag for the bottle and then we walked to the front door.

"I'll see you soon."

"Bye, sweetie." He smirked, knowing that I didn't like when he called me that.

"Oh shut up!" I said jokingly.

Before I left he suddently gave me a hug. I hugged back, feeling a bit weird. We hugged for about 3 secounds before he let go of me.

"Bye then!"

"See you." After I walked out he gently closed the door after me. I sat down in the car and my mom looked at me for a while.

"W-what?"

"You got a piercing." She raised her eyebrows.

"Um yeah.." I started feeling a bit nervous. I wasn't sure if she liked it or not.

"It looks awesome on you." I was shocked by what she said. She.. liked it?

"Thanks.. Kyung was the one who did it." I started fiddling with my hands as I was waiting for her answer.

"It looks like he knew what he was doing." I chuckled a bit.

I did not expect my mom to react like this at all. My mother doesn't seem like that kind of person who liked piercings. But now when I think about it, she never said anything about them. Dad was always the one who said that they were bad and ugly. Same thing with with tattoos. He used to tell me that people who got piercings and tattoos were drug addicts and satanists. I didn't agree with that at all. It was just plain stupid in my opinion.

When I thought about dad I remembered that there was going to be a trial. The thing that I was most scared of was that no one was going to believe me. They would maybe think that I made it all up. No. I'm not going to give up without a fight. I hate what he did to me. If he could hit me, he probably hit other people as well. I hated him. I hated the way he looked and talked to me. I hated his stupid bottles of wine that were always lying everywhere in the livingroom. He had a drinking problem, both me and mom were aware of it. But no one could do anything to stop him from doing what he wanted. There were so many nights when I was woken up by a loud slam coming from the front door. My dad would yell things like "Where is my fucking beer?!" and "Get over here, you whore!" His voice was different, it was hard to explain. But his words sounded sloppy and tired.

When I was younger I would usually just sit in my bed and be scared out of my mind when this happened. His loud steps would get closer. And then he would swing open my door so hard that the door knob left a mark on the wall in my room. And it's still there.. Can you believe that such a small mark could bring back so many bad memories? My thoughts were interrupted by my mother's voice. She had stopped the car.

"What's wrong, honey?" She must have seen that I looked sad. She could read me like an open book. But she could not do that with dad. No one could read dad.

"I can't, mom." My voice started breaking. She moved closer to me and put a hand on my leg.

"What do you mean?" She asked me, looking confused and scared at the same time.

"I can't go on like this!" I shouted and my eyes started to fill with tears. I opened the car door and ignored my mother's words. I ran off into the woods as fast I could. I choked on my breath and tears but I kept on running anyway. I glanced back and I couldn't see my mom anymore. I stopped running and started walking instead. I didn't know where I was going. I just wanted to get away from everything. I needed to end it. I picked up my phone and sent mom, Kyung and Alexis a message.

"I'm sorry. Please don't cry over me. I wasn't meant to exist anyway. I am hurting too much. I can't take it anymore."

I kept walking about 20 minutes until I reached a cliff. I looked down and I saw nothing but trees. If I jumped down from here I wouldn't survive the fall. If I jumped it would all be over. I looked out at the sky, with the tears blocking my vision. Picking my phone up from my pocket and putting it on the ground, I made my decision. I took a deep breath and wiped away the tears from my wet cheeks. I thought I heard someone call my name, but it was probably just a voice inside my head. I took a step forward and closed my eyes.

[Author's note]

Hey, if you are depressed, just know that there is always someone out there who cares about you.  Don't say there isn't, cause you don't know that. You are never alone even if you might feel like it. Instead of hiding your feelings, find someone to talk to. A therapist, a friend, a parent, anyone. I promise you that it will help more than you think.

[End of chapter 1200 words]

-Thank you for reading ｡^‿^｡