Stuck Between Death And Life

Bitten

Josephine's POV: I carefully shade the drawing. My finger slides over the drawing and spreads the shadow. I write my signature at the right bottom corner of my paper and study my art for a while. It's not great but it's alright.

I had been thinking about this idea for a long while. See, everyday we go to the cafeteria to get our medications. We are told to take them immediatly. But what if I don't take them, I just pretend? I could maybe get about 20 of them, it would be enough to kill me. It would take a while, of course but it was worth it. Then I could finally end this worthless life.

My hungry stomach was screaming and aching for food but I completly ignored it and just laid down in my bed instead. It had been more than a day since I slept. I didn't go to sleep because I thought I didn't need it. It was just really hard to focus on drawing when I couldn't even keep my eyelids up. I pulled the blanket over my head and relaxed. I quickly fell asleep.

I woke up when Jolene walked into the room. She wasn't being loud, it was just that I was a light sleeper.

"Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to wake you up." Jolene apologized.

"It's fine. I wasn't planning on sleeping for long anyway." I explained.

"Why not? You hardly got any sleep last night." I sighed. I shouldn't have told her that.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does." Jolene walked closer to me. Her brown hair was curly, big and fit her face perfectly. She looked like she spent a lot of time on her apperance, which I didn't. I didn't care.

"I don't matter." I simply told her. She let out a sigh and studied me for a while.

"You should take a warm shower and then go back to sleep. I can get a nurse for you." Jolene offered.

"Fine." I mumbled.

I followed Jolene trough the corridor and started talking to a nurse. I looked around the room, searching for my brother. But he wasn't there. Probably misbehaved again.

"Josephine?" The blonde nurse searched for my attention.

"Mhm?"

"Are you ready for your shower?"

"Sure."

She grabbed some shampoo, conditioner and soap from a locked cabinet and followed me inside the room. Not into the shower though. I was glad that she didn't, cause that would be really akward and weird. The warm water hit my body. I carefully brushed trough my tangled hair and added some shampoo. I never wanted to get out of the shower now. Maybe I should do this more often. I didn't wanna be that gross girl that never showered.

The nurse gave me the towel and stood there. She wasn't allowed to leave me alone with it because they thought I might try to choke myself with it. Which I maybe would. If they weren't there I would probably be dead by now.

"Where's Jolene?" I asked the nurse.

"In the cafeteria, in one of the couches." I quickly put on some clothes. This time, something else than the blue hoodie. I decided to wear a black tank top and jeans. I would have put on a necklace or a choker if I was allowed to have them. I went and got Jolene and brough her back to the room.

"You showered!" She smiled at me.

"Yup. Do you have a brush?" I asked her. She nodded and took out a black brush out of her nightstand.

"You have really beautiful hair." She simply said and handed me the brush.

"Thank you. I guess."

[Two weeks later]

I pulled out the drawer on my nightstand and looked inside. I had 14 pills so far. I was suprised that no one had noticed that I didn't take my medication. Just 6 more days and I would be free. Free from this place. This life. This hell.

I walked to out to the couches since I had nothing to do. To my suprise, my brother was there. Fiddling with his fingers and just looking down on the ground. Silently mumbling words by himself.

"Hey. How are you doing?" I asked him.

"You're stupid." He mumbled into the ground. I knew that he wasn't talking to me. He was probably just repeating what the voices told him, or talked back to them. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

"Don't listen to them." I told him.

"Why didn't you eat breakfast today? I waited for you." He asked, with the same flat tone as always.

"I forgot, I'm sorry. I was drawing."

"WHY?!" He stood up and stared at me.

"Please don't be like this..." I begged him.

"Stupid." Quickly, he blew a punch to my face. I fell back and tripped. I quickly tried to get up and run away. A guard came running towards us and grabbed Simon's arms and put them behind his back, making him unable to fight. He screamed in protestation and frustration. A nurse ran up to me and asked me if I was okay. Of course I was okay. I was used to this. He had always been like this, this is the only Simon I know.

I walked back to my room with a bunch of nurses following me, wanted to make sure that I was not harmed but I didn't care. There were no mirrors here, so I couldn't see if I got a bruise but my face felt sore. Jolene sat in there already, playing on her phone on my bed. I sat down beside her and sighed. My eyelids slowly started to feel heavy again. Jolene put her arm around me.

"It's going to be okay. Let your body rest." I stopped resisting and laid down beside Jolene. She started playing with my long hair and carefully brushed trough it with her fingers.

"I'm jelaous of your straight hair."

"Why..? It's boring."

"I hate my curls." She told me. I turned to her and looked into her brown chocolate orbs.

"I love them." I whispered to her. A smile graced her plump lips and her eyes traveling across my body. I loved the attantion she was giving me. I haven't felt someone this close to me in so long. I need it, just this once. Without warning I pinned her to the bed and kissed her roughly. I felt like an animal and heat was building up between my thighs. Jolene made no resistance and started moaning. I bit her collarbone until it turned blue and my nails scraped her skin. My breathing quickened and the urge to take her grew. Jolene hiss in pain as I visciously grabbed her hips, silently promising red marks.

Her mouth agape and lust filled eyes was all I needed to continue. Her hands found my hair and pulled, bruising my scalp. I dragged my tongue from her earlob to the spot between her neck and shoulder. I stayed on that spot and Jolene whimpered noticing the absence of bites. I breathed heavily on the spot before biting down hard. Jolene
screamed in pain and iron filled my mouth. I lapped it up with my tongue, tasting her sweet blood.

[End of chapter 1221 words]

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