The Bluebird Of Happiness

Blind

Kai POV

I woke up in my bed feeling drained from the day before.
The only how I can even escape the pain is when I'm sleeping.

Everything is fine when I'm sleeping, it's the waking up and facing my reality part that drives a stake into my heart.

I will never understand what I did wrong for him to do this to me. I let his ass back in after everything, then this whole time I was feeling bad about keeping his ass in the dog house, thinking I was too harsh, this nigga been out here fucking his ex.

I don't know maybe we could have worked through that, who knows, I mean we hadn't had sex in 2 months, except letting him eat my ass but that was it. A man does have needs, I'm not saying I wouldn't have been hurt, and reacted any different. Maybe I would've worked it out, cause I did love him.

But not only did he defile our relationship, he planted a child into another bitch, and that's just something I can't handle.

Now I'm left here, feeling like the worst human, feeling low, feeling worthless.

Trying to figure out, why wasn't I good enough.

Niggas ain't shit!

They fill your head with a bunch of fucking empty promises, tell you whatever you wanna here, and in the same breathe will fuck you over for a quick fuck.

Then we left picking up the pieces, gathering ourselves together so we can gain the strength to move on, just to let another nigga repeat the cycle.

This shit is sick and I don't think I can ever love again.

"Heyyy Bitch, can I come in?" Kingston tried to whisper but was still loud as hell.

"Yes come on in!" I told him as I made room for him in the bed, for him to lay down beside me.

"Oh no Bitch it ain't that type of party, you not about to use me for revenge sex Bitch!! I'm not a lesbian gurrrlll" Kingston started.

I couldn't help but to laugh that time.

"Yes! I knew my bestie was still alive in there somewhere!" Kingston said getting in the bed.

That was his plan the whole time to find a way to get me to crack.

"I hate you!" I told him, hitting him with the pillow.

"How you feeling forreal?" He asked.

"I feel hurt, I feel empty, I feel sad! He was supposed to be all mine! But he out here with her! I don't want to see that! I was suppose to meet his parents! I was suppose to support him in his first game! I had this whole night planned out where I finally give him some again! I really thought he was gone be the one, but he didn't choose me! What's wrong with me Kingston? What's so bad about being with me? What I do wrong huh? Kingston, tell me what I did?" I said breaking down again.

"Stop Kai! Now bitch I'm gone let you grieve this shit out, but I'm not gone let you beat yourself up over this dirty trade and Ms.Sour Puss chile! Sometimes you can't ask the question what you did wrong? Sometimes you have to pray and and seek God, to find out the reason why he thinks you deserve better and decided to remove and deliver you from the wolves in sheep clothings, the snakes in tall grasses, the fake and phony, the branches pretending to be roots, Chile the old hand me down worn out blue jeans, pretending to be expensive blouses! You've been delievreedddddd!!" Kingston said doing his preaching voice.

This damn boy!!

"Now see I was with you at first till you got to playing at the end!" I told him laughing.