Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 02

#ABNQ02 Chapter 02

If it weren't the middle of the sem, I probably would have already booked a flight to Japan... and probably stay there until everything felt okay.

Or at least better than how I was feeling right now.

I hated that I was still feeling so miserable tapos si Steele sobrang masaya. Bakit hindi ko kayang maging masaya rin kagaya niya? Siya naman 'yung nang-iwan. Siya 'yung may kasalanan. Pero bakit sa utak ko, nag-iisip pa rin ako kung ano 'yung nagawa kong mali? Na baka ako talaga 'yung may kasalanan kung bakit niya ako iniwan?

That maybe if I were better that I was, he wouldn't leave me.

In the end, I felt like it was all my fault... even though all I really ever did was love him.

"You left early last night," Psalm asked after sitting next to me. Mag-isa lang ako sa classroom. Cancelled kasi iyong class namin, as usual, pero nagstay na lang ako. Alam ko kasi na nasa tambayan iyong mga kaibigan ko, and I was in no mood to reminisce about the thoughtful gesture of my ex-boyfriend to his current.

"Yeah, I was feeling sick," I said, then continued doodling.

Biglang hinawakan ni Psalm iyong noo ko. "You're not sick," sabi niya pagkatapos hawakan din iyong noo niya para i-compare.

"Wala ka bang practice?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nah. Technically, I'm in class right now," he said. Binuksan niya iyong bag niya at naglabas ng energy bar. One thing about him is that he's like carrying a mini-canteen in his bag. Seriously. Never akong nagutom kapag kasama ko si Psalm kasi marami siyang pagkain na dala. Dahilan niya is athlete siya kaya mabilis ang metabolism niya at palagi siyang gutom.

"It's the start of the season next week. Are you gonna watch?" he asked. I shrugged. "Oh, come on. Support your best friend!"

I eyed him. "You're not my best friend," I pointed out.

"Right. It's Anj, but you're not talking to her," he replied, shrugging.

Huh.

I walked straight into that. I bet Psalm had been itching to ask me about Anj for quite a while. Nakakapagtaka rin naman kasi... We used to be inseparable, tapos biglang... wala na.

It's not that I couldn't tell her about Steele because I knew that she would understand. She's my best friend—or was—so I knew that she got my back. Pero ewan ko. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her things. Parang suddenly, nawala na 'yung connection?

Suddenly, we just don't talk that much anymore.

"You've been very secretive lately," he said.

"I'm not. You're just so curious about things that don't concern you."

"Ouch," he said, feigning a hurt. "I'm the only one who's still nice enough to annoy you."

Hindi ko mapigilan na mapa-ngiti. I did appreciate Psalm. He's just a nice guy. Some women in our school often mistake him being nice as him hitting on them. But being his friend for quite a while, I was sure that most of the time, he's just being nice. Masyadong nag-aassume lang talaga 'yung mga babae. Too much that one time, his windshield was smashed by some weirdo.

"Well, thank you," I replied.

"If you're really thankful, there's a party for the basketball team—"

"No," I quickly replied.

"Jo naman..." he said in the rare times he did remember that he's in the Philippines, and that he actually knows about to speak in Tagalog. He just really prefers to speak in English. This elitist.