Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 26

#ABNQ26 Chapter 26

"Lasing ka na yata," I said, dismissing the seriousness in his voice. I didn't like what was happening. I didn't like how he looked at me. I didn't like the uneasiness he was making me feel.

"I'm not drunk," he answered, staring at me like he wanted to know my deepest thoughts. Sinubukan kong tumawa, pero parang nagmukha lang akong tanga dahil sa sobrang seryoso niya.

I waived my hand. "Naku," I said, "Gusto mo bang tubig? Para mawala ng konti tama mo," I continued then started walking towards the ref. Pero bago ko pa man mabuksan iyong ref, naramdaman ko na naman si Psalm na naka-sunod sa 'kin.

Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko.

Bakit ba niya ako tinitignan nang ganyan?!

"Joey," he said. Sa ilang taon na magkakilala kami, ilang beses niya na tinawag iyong pangalan ko. Joey. Pero iyong paraan ng pagtawag niya ngayon, hindi ko alam pero may ibang dating sa akin.

And I didn't like how it was making me feel.

I tried to laugh it off, masking how restless he was making me feel. How perturbed. How unsettled.

"Bakit ang seryoso mo?" sabi ko habang naka-ngiti pa rin. Pero parang kahit ano'ng gawin ko, hindi maalis iyong ka-seryosohan sa mukha niya. Na nagiging dahilan kung bakit palakas nang palakas iyong tibok ng puso ko.

"Why are you dodging my question?" he asked.

"Ano'ng question ba?" I asked, smiling although my chest felt like it was being drilled by the way Psalm was staring at me. This was one of those times that I hated how intense his eyes were. Na isang tingin pa lang, parang kakapusin na ako ng hininga.

"If you really don't want to. If there's really no chance."

Pumikit ako, at saka huminga nang malalim. Wala lang 'to. Baka isa lang 'to sa mga panahon na seryosong bagay iyong pinag-uusapan namin ni Psalm.

Nanginginig iyong kamay ko nang buksan ko iyong ref, at kumuha ng tubig. My hands started to tremble more as I reached for the glass. At hindi rin naka-tulong na sa bawat galaw ko, ramdam ko na nasa akin iyong mga mata niya.

"Chance ba sa ano?"

"Don't play dumb on me," sabi niya.

Humigpit iyong hawak ko sa baso. "Hindi ko nga kasi alam kung ano 'yung gusto mong sagutin ko," matapang na sagot ko sa kanya, pero ni hindi ko nagawang tumingin sa mga mata niya dahil alam ko na isang tingin ko lang 'dun, talo na agad ako.

"Joey," he said, sounding like he's in pain.

Huminga ako nang mas malalim.

"You said you don't want friends."

Oh, fuck.

"S-so?" I managed to ask although every fiber of my being was begging me to run. To just running fucking far away.

"What..." he trailed, making me curse inside my head because fuck! Bakit ba siya ganito?! Bakit ba niya ginagawa 'to?!

Mabilis kong kinuha iyong baso sa counter, and naglakad. Nanginginig iyong buong sistema ko. Para akong tanga na naglalakad. Na sa bawat hakbang ko, nagdadasal ako na sana 'wag niya ng dugtungan iyong sinabi niya.

Ayos naman na ganito.

Bakit kailangang guluhin?

"What if I want to date you?"

Biglang napatigil ako sa paglalakad.

Biglang parang ramdam ko kahit simpleng paghinga niya.

My hands were trembling. I pursed my lips, and took a deep breath. Pasimple kong pinatong iyong baso sa lamesa dahil alam ko na isang salita pa na lumabas sa bibig niya, mababagsak ko na 'yun.