Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 09

#ABNQ09 Chapter 09

What Psalm said really got stuck inside my head. I mean, he did have a point. What's the point of rushing into things? What's the point of dating someone kung hindi rin pala sigurado? But on the other side, how would you know if you wouldn't give it a shot? Still... I didn't want to date the wrong person again. Kasi masakit kaya maiwan. Masakit sa puso; masakit sa pride. You'd constantly wonder where you're lacking. Bakit iniwan ka? Bakit naghanap ng iba?

Sobrang nakaka-doubt ng pagkatao.

I was sitting alone inside the room. Wala iyong mga lalaki kasi may game sila. Usually, we'd all cut class para makanood ng game. Pero ngayon? Medyo weird. Kitty waved at me, but then she sat beside Anj. Naiintindihan ko naman. Anj was acting all weird around me. She'd try to wave or smile, but would stop. Ako rin naman. And it's just sad dahil dati sobrang comfortable namin sa isa't-isa. Now, we couldn't even smile at each other.

"When will you two talk again?" Kitty said, frowning. "It's hard to be in the middle of it, you know."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know. Sorry," I told her. Among us all, si Kitty iyong pinaka-nahihirapan kasi siya 'yung dependent sa grupo. Bunso kasi namin.

"Anj wants to talk to you, but she doesn't know how."

"Me, too."

"Steele is so stupid," she said, huffing. "What did you even see in him, Joey?" seryosong tanong ni Kitty. "I mean, I thought if there's someone na boyfriend material sa friends natin, it would either be Simon or Psalm... definitely not Steele."

I shrugged. "Beats me, too," I said, not wanting to discuss the reason why I fell for Steele. Right now, I just wanted what happened to be a distant memory. Because even after everything that happened, I still wouldn't deny that Steele made me happy. Kahit sandali lang. I still wanted to keep the fond memories, and let go of the ones that haunt me.

Kitty leaned on my shoulder, and hugged me. "You're okay na ba? If not, I can stay here and listen."

Natawa ako. "Aren't you busy, Ms. Student Council Secretary?"

"I'll tell them I'm sick if you need me here."

"I'm fine, I promise," I replied. "At saka hinihintay ko lang si Manong."

"You want me to ask my driver to drive you home?" she offered.

I shook my head. "No. Sa BGC lang naman si Manong, nagpa-sundo kasi si Jax," I said. Biglang namula iyong mukha ni Kitty. May crush kasi siya kay Jax na hindi ko maintindihan. I just find it weird because he's my brother... but I guess for other people he's attractive. I just couldn't see it because he'll forever be the guy who broke my arms before dahil nire-wrestling ako.

"Ah," Kitty said with her mouth-wide open.

"No, wala pa rin siyang girlfriend. Yes, sobrang busy niya pa rin. Yes, I still subtly mention you kapag nakakapag-usap kami," sabi ko. Nahihiya kasi siyang magtanong about Jax kaya vino-volunteer ko na lang iyong information. I mean, kung magkaka-girlfriend man 'yung maarte kong kapatid, si Kitty na lang.

"You're the best!" Kitty said, hugging me tighter. Her phone vibrated—nagtext siguro iyong SC.

"Sige na, una ka na. Maghihintay lang ako dito," I said, smiling. She was still a little hesitant—I was unsure if dahil ayaw niya ako iwan mag-isa or if she wanted to stay para makita si Jax kapag sinundo ako. But eventually, she had to leave because it seemed like the council wouldn't run if she's not there.

God, they'd make a great couple. Parehong sobrang busy palagi.

A little later, dumating na sa wakas si Manong. Dumiretso ako sa loob dahil pagod na ako at gusto ko na umuwi.