Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 08

#ABNQ08 Chapter 08

I still needed to meet with one of my professors, but I was still crying inconsolably. Agad na nagtext ako sa driver para sunduin ako. I didn't think it was a good idea to meet with my prof while I was crying like this. And I didn't think that it was a good idea to walk around the campus looking like this.

Naglakad ako papunta sa may puno, at saka naupo doon. Niyakap ko 'yung binti ko habang nakayuko. My phone kept on vibrating, but I had no heart to answer it. Pagpinuntahan nila ako dito, iiyakan ko lang sila. Hindi ako makapagsalita. Mas masakit 'yung dibdib ko ngayon kaysa nung sabi ni Steele na ayaw niya na.

"There you are."

I didn't need to raise my head to know who was in front of me.

"Been looking everywhere," he said. I felt him crouching in front of me. Nakikita ko iyong binti niya sa harap ko. Sumilip din siya sa pagitan ng mga braso ko kaya nakita ko 'yung mala-broccoli niyang buhok.

I remained silent. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I was emotional as heck. And I didn't like talking when I was full of emotion kasi baka kung ano 'yung masabi ko. Hindi na kasi nababawi 'yung salita kapag nasabi mo na. Nandyan na 'yan. Naka-sakit na 'yan.

"Still in the mood for Tagaytay?" he asked. I felt him now sitting beside me. "Though it's only the two of us. Matt and Simon's with Anj." Biglang napaangat iyong ulo ko. "Jesus, you're all red," sabi ni Psalm sabay bukas ng bag, at abot ng Gatorade.

"K-kasama niya si Anj?" I asked, stuttering because tears were still falling. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako matatapos umiyak. Iyong kapag akala ko tapos na, pero kapag nagsalita ako, biglang tutulo na lang sila.

He nodded, then opened the cap for me. "Yeah. We tossed a coin. I was assigned to look for you."

"What?"

"Nothing," sabi niya. "Are you alright?"

Uminom muna ako ng Gatorade bago tumango. "Nasabi ko na kay Anj."

He nodded. "Yeah, I figured. She was also crying."

"Puntahan mo na lang din kaya si Anj? Iniisip kasi nun na puro ako—"

"You don't think you need someone?" he asked. I shrugged; he wrinkled his nose.

"Hindi naman sa ganon—"

"There's no shame in asking for help."

I sighed. "Thanks pala na nandito ka."

He nodded. "Of course, we're friends," he said. "So, you alright with Anj?"

Umiling ako. "Di ko alam. Nag-usap naman kami. Nagsorry kami. Pero alam mo 'yun? Hindi na kagaya ng dati. May nagbago na."

Hindi ko masabi kung ano iyong eksakto na nararamdaman ko. Basta alam ko na may iba na. Parang biglang may harang na. Parang biglang may pader na.

"It's alright," he said, patting the top of my head. "You know what they say... When people grow, they grow apart."

I smiled sadly. He was right; but for some reasons, I didn't want him to be right. Kasi nasasayangan ako sa memories. Ang tagal ng pinagsamahan namin tapos biglang wala na lang... pero hindi rin naman kasi pwedeng pilitin. Nakakailang. Iba sa pakiramdam.

"This sucks," I said, groaning.

"It's alright," he repeated, then kept on patting the top of my head na feeling ko aso na ako.

* * *

Psalm volunteered to go to the professor on my behalf para sabihin na may 'emergency' kaya hindi ako makakarating. Dumiretso na ako sa bahay. Mabuti na lang wala pa iyong parents ko kaya hindi nila ako masa-psychoanalyze.