Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 53

#ABNQ53 Chapter 53

I didn't know how I managed to go home unscathed after my encounter with him. It's been too long since I last saw him. Hindi ko alam kung paano namin nagawang hindi magkita kahit na pareho lang ang mga kaibigan namin. I guess that's how badly we didn't want to see each other. We were just in-synch. Kapag may kailangan akong puntahan, automatic na wala siya. Kapag alam ko na mas mahala iyong presensya niya, automatic na may naka-handa na akong dahilan kung bakit hindi ako makaka-punta.

I knew he hated me.

I made him hate me.

Wrong choices; stupid feelings—these two were never a good mix.

Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, hindi agad ako naka-labas ng sasakyan. Kitang-kita ko iyong sasakyan ng mga kaibigan ko kaya alam ko na nasa loob sila. I was somehow tempted to just drive away again, but somehow managed to decide against it. Ilang buwan ko na ba silang hindi nakaka-usap? I always had a reason at my disposal kung bakit lagi akong busy. Puro may duty ako, may aaralin pa ako. I guess I finally ran out of things to say.

"Congratulations!" sigaw nila pagpasok ko pa lang.

I smiled. I was happy, sure, but the encounter earlier with Psalm kinda dampened my mood. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hanggang ngayon, apektado pa rin ako sa mga salitang lumabas sa bibig niya.

'Remember Joey?'

Wow.

I knew five years was a long time, but it certainly wasn't long enough to forget someone who fucking broke your heart. Someone who made you beg para lang 'wag kang iwan.

"Thank you," tipid kong sabi habang inililibot ko iyong tingin ko. May banner pa na naka-lagay para sa akin. May mga pagkain din na naka-handa. "Sino nag-ayos nito?" nagtataka kong tanong. Kaka-labas lang ng resulta. Ang bilis naman nilang mag-ayos kung sakali.

"This was planned months ago," Anj said.

I arched a brow. "Really."

She nodded. "We knew you'd pass. Ilang buwan mo nga kaming pinagtaguan para mag-aral, e."

I pursed my lips. "Sorry," sagot ko dahil hindi ko alam kung ano pa 'yung sasabihin ko. Hindi ko naman gusto na iwasan sila... It's just that I couldn't see Psalm. And he definitely couldn't see me. There was just too many problems between us that we both unconsciously decided that it was better not to see each other anymore.

I couldn't even remember if we broke up. All I could remember was that look on his face... How that scared me... How I knew that from then on, there's no backing down. That I already dug way too deep to get myself out of the shit I got myself into.

"You're forgiven..." she said. "If you go to Steele's wedding this Sunday."

Mabilis na napaawang na naman iyong labi ko.

"Please stop being a shitty friend, Joey," she said. "You're a doctor already. Magpakita ka naman. We miss you, you know?"

I missed a lot of things in my friends' life. Wala ako nung magbukas ng branch iyong resto ni Matt. Wala ako nung magbreak sandali si Andre at Steele. Wala ako nung ma-engage si Anj. Wala ako nung nagpakasal siya. Wala ako nung nagcelebrate dahil lawyer na si Kitty. Wala ako nung finally may pinakilalang babae sa amin si Simon. Wala ako nung nagplano iyong buong barkada kung papaano magpo-propose si Steele.

I missed on a lot of things... And even though I try to tell myself that it's because I was busy chasing on my dream, I knew it's nothing but a lie. I just couldn't see Psalm. I couldn't.