Diana: 4 months in the UK

(12)

Song of the chapter: 4ever by The Veronicas

The car ride is incredibly bumpy. Greg drives over the speed limit and runs many red lights. Thankfully no policemen are around so we get away with it. He turns corners sharply causing us all in the back to crash into each other too many times. Ashton nearly fell out of his seat twice now. Greg stops the car suddenly and I am shoved into the back of the seat in front of me. 

"We're here. Get out." He orders. Not wanting to argue or protest I obey. I unbuckle my seatbelt and make my way to the door. It opens too quick for me to notice so I stumble to the cold ground. Calum helps me up to my feet again. Greg drives off, screeching his tires against the road. 

"Well isn't he friendly." I comment a bit too loud. 

"He's just a bit pissed because his girlfriend, Denise is away on holiday. He'll get over it." Niall informs. 

I finally get a good view of where we are. We are no doubt in the heights of Ireland. The houses are structured more modernly and the grass is freshly mowed. Excuse me while I take a selfie or two. The house behind us is decorated with fairy lights and paper lanterns. The house fills with beats and rowdy teenagers. 

"Shall we head on?" We all nod in approval and make our way to the door. I'm guessing it is an ope party because the door has been left open. We enter into our new domain. 

Disco lights are the first things that I see. The decorative colours of the anterior design and it's wallpaper. This is definately worth a bit of money. I follow the rest of the boys through the house. We pass many people who hold a red solo cup. Most likey filled with Alcohol. There are at least a few hundred people here alone in this living room. 

We end up finding Danny who is off his head. "Hey guys." He slurs. It's not even 8 o'clock. 

"You're wasted man." Niall hugs him and so do the other boys. I spot Shaye and her group. She wears black thin piece of material for a dress. I scrunch my nose in disgust. My stomach grumbles lowly as my gaze lands on a snack table. 

"I'm going to get something to eat." I tell Calum. He nods and continues talking to Sandy about his bass called Sally. I really find it weird how people name instruments and cars. I walk and find myself hovering over the food. Snack pies, hot chips, normal chips, sausage rolls, salad. My eyes can't choose just one so I grab a plateful of hot chips and a sausage roll. I'll have to share with Calum. I turn around to return to Calum but I stand before Jak and Bryar. 

"Oh look Bryar. Not only is she a hoe but she is a fat one." She giggles uncontrollably. A few people around us laugh with her. I have never been so humiliated. I drop the plate and run to the bathroom. I lock it instantly and fall to my knees crying. 

Soft knocking is at the door. "Dee." Niall's voice calls for me. If I don't respond, maybe he will go away. The knocking increases to my dismay. 
 
"Come on, I know you're in there. Please let me in." His accent is too hard to refuse so I open the door to him. He walks in and raises his arms. I cry into his arms while he coos at me softly. Oh no, not right now. It's not the time for a panic attack. 

I pull away from him and hold my chest in pain. Everytime I try to breathe it gets worse. It's like being suffocated in a dream except it isn't a dream. It's real life. I can feel my oesophagus closing up on me. 

"Holy shit. What's going on. Help." He panics. 

"No-plea-don-tel-an-on" I choke. 

"What do I do?" His blue eyes beaming down at me, they are searching mine for answers. 

"Hel-meh-coun-ta-ten." 

"Okay, here it goes." We get to 2 and my breaths are at ease. My heartbeat isn't racing and my hands have stopped shaking. I sit down on the ground next to Niall who must be overwhelmed. 

"Let's get you some fresh air." I nod. He wraps an arm around me and we walk out. I've always hated walking up to receive an award in assembly so you can imagine walking out of that bathroom. The amount of stares I got was countless. Thankfully I had Niall by my side so it was bearable. We pass Shaye and Ashton making out viciously on a couch, Calum hanging out with some stoners and Luke twerking on the dancefloor with Bryar. 

We make it out the door before anyone I know can pay me any attention. The cold air hits me like a tonne of bricks and it's breathtaking. I sit down on the grass and lie down to stare at the night sky. A few seconds later, Niall joins me. 

"What are we doing?" He asks. 

"We're observing." The stars have always fascinated me in many ways. We stay silent for a few seconds and I am glad. I don't know what to say right at this moment because I am too indulged with the sky. 

"Thank you." I find my voice. 

"For what?" He says, innocently. I laugh. 

"For being there for me." No one has been there to save me like that. Not even Calum which disappoints me a little. 

"Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" He nudges me softly. 

"Yeah." My smile fades a bit and I remember all the drama of the last year and how many times I had to save myself. 

"Dee, can I ask you something." I know it's coming. 

"Yeah." I hide the fear in my voice. 

"Why do you get panic attacks?" Knew it. I do not reply because it is a touchy subject. 

"Some things happened in the past year which kind of traumatized me. I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay" I give him a brief outline of the years history.

"Yeah, I totally understand." The temperature has seemed to have dropped suddenly and my skin is covered into goosbumps. I sut up and shiver. Great time to be wearing shorts, huh. Niall takes off his jumper and hands it to me. 

"Are you sure?" As much as I want to be greedy and take it, I don't want him to be cold too. 

"Of course! What kind of man would I be if I didn't offer a lady my jumper?" He has a good point so I accept. The fluffiness instantly calms my pointly skin and warms me up. 

"Let's head back inside." I rise up and follow Niall back inside. The party hasn't changed much since we left so it was easy to mould back into the crowd. Eenie Meanie by Justin Bieber blasts through the speakers and teens are fist pumping. I join the crowd with Niall and sing to my hearts content. Everything is going too fast but I don't even care. This is the most fun I've had in the past year so I'll enjoy it. 

Niall and I stay on the dancefloor for another 5 songs. We fist pump and just let go of everything. It feels good to smile properly. I begin to feel unfit and tired so I step off the dancefloor and try and catch my breath. 

"Are you having another panic attack?" Niall asks, worriedly. 

"No, I'm just really unfit." He cackles. His cackle makes me laugh even harder than him. 

"Where are the others?" Unfamiliar faces are surrounded by Niall and I. 

"Over there!" He points to a group of them sitting down on the ground. We walk over to join them. An empty coke bottle sits in the middle of the circle. Everyone including Shaye, Jak and Bryar sit around it, worshipping it almost. 

"Oh hey guys. We're just starting spin the bottle. Wanna join?" Ashton announces. He seems to have risen to popularity very quickly. I sit next to Niall and Ashton and wait for it to begin. ?

"So rules, whoever it lands on you have to kiss unless its the same sex but if you want to, that's cool too. Kissing to be a minimum 10 seconds and the whole group has to decide who spins" Everyone nods in response as Ashton starts. Niall hands me a red solo cup and I chug it down. The chemicals taste foreign but I want more. I hand the cup back to Niall who gets me some more. This will be a long night. 

The next hour is filled with laughter, one too many drinks and naughty kisses. Ashton has been nominated at least 5 times and has kissed almost all the girls apart from me, luckily. Luke and Calum have been nominated 3 times, Niall and a few others who I don't know have been nominated twice. I am almost ready to pass out because it's soon entertaining. 

"RIght who is next?" Ashton asks around. A few names are said but none are definate. 

"I nominate Diana." Shaye speaks up. I am literally eyeing her right now. Everyone in the group seems to agree with her so I am obliged to spin. I spin that bottle with all my might. It moves and scatters in different directions but never stopping. The bottle head slows down to choose its target. Michael.