Diana: 4 months in the UK

(27)

Song of the chapter: Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne.

My breath comes and go but it still doesn't change the fact that I cheated on Michael. Wait, is kissing someone else even cheating? What am I thinking, of course it's cheating. I kissed someone else who wasn't my boyfriend and the worst part of it was that I liked it. I should'nt have liked it but I did and I am so confused as to why I did. 

I replay the scene in my head and I feel so emotional. I don't know whether to feel guilty and completely upset with myself or fan girl a little because that was some kiss. But I can't think like this, I am with Michael. Not Calum. Calum is my best friend, my main man, my brother from another mother. It would be awkward and so weird if we dated, right? 

And Michael. Oh god, Michael. He is so sweet and caring and treats me well enough. Well, it would be better if we were public about it but that can not be. But thinking back to how he hurt Calum all those years ago gets me wondering if he will ever do the same with me. Is he seeing someone behind my back? Is it Bryar or Shaye? No, they have Luke and Ashton. They're so infatuated by their own love lives that they haven't even noticed my own problems. This is such a crazy cycle. 

I stand to my feet, rising from the ashes like a phoenix. I don't know how I am going to win Michael back, heck even if I do try I don't know if he'll take me back. It's a pretty big thing kissing someone else, especially if it's someone you hate, right? A light rustle in the back of the room captures my attention and breaks me away from my thoughts about my relationship. I turn to see Niall with some food in both hands. 

"Michael said you were upset about something." He simply says. I nod, not being able to find my voice in the back of my throat. 

"You okay?" His accent. His freaking accent just does it for me. I burst into tears right there on the spot, not knowing how to stop it. They just come out like rush hour and can't seem to tell my body to put the tears on pause. I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me, comforting and protecting me. I look up to see that it is not the irish boy who stood in front of me, but Calum Thomas Hood. 

HIs scent is an obvious boy stench with some sort of lynx cologne. It's familiar and feels like home. He traces his fingers over my bare, exposed shoulders which makes me shudder. I lean my head on his narrow chest that feels like a pillow to me. I close my eyes and wish that I could escape from the world. That is fantasy and this is reality, I remind myself. 

Michael's POV

I storm out of that room with every right that I have. How could she kiss someone else? And more importantly, how could she kiss Calum? Out of everyone in the household, Calum freaking Hood. 

To completely honest, I wouldn't have made it such a big deal if it were Luke or Ashton, even Niall but since it's Calum it's not okay. I hear how he talks about her when she isn't there. How he is falling for her hard and how he will never be able to tell her how he really feels because of their close friendship. That and because I have her, my sub-conscience reminds me. But it's not like I sit around listening to people's conversations in their bedrooms. Preferably not Luke and Calum's conversations. And the fact that he thinks that he has a slight chance with her makes me laugh every time. 

I shove my hands in my jacket pockets and keep my head down. I push past through crowds of nurses and patients, not having a care in the world. I am so furious right now. My mind is spinning with angry thoughts and bad intentions. I make it to the elevators and wait for one to come to my aid. 

I enter and stand awkwardly as I join an old married couple. They give me such a sweet smile and I try my best to do the same but it must look frightening because they turn away. I sigh quietly as I watch them hop off on their own floor. The elevator doors close me off from the world, leaving me alone in such a confined space.