Diana: 4 months in the UK

(17)

Song of the chapter: Ugly by Sugababes

{ shaye } 

Ashton wraps his arms around me once we are on the couch. I've never had so much contact with a boy in my life. All my years in school, there has always been something wrong with my appearance. I've been filled with more muscle than others, my hair is more thicker and curlier than most, my skin is described as vampire-like, my height said to be taller than a beanstalk. So they used them against me. 

I might come across as confident and dominant but really I am just as scared as everyone else. I just happen to hide it better than others. Ashton has been amazing to me and he understands me like no one else does. We've been hanging out nearly every second we can because I feel safest when I am with him and he doesn't mind that I'm a little clingy.

Michael has put in the disc for Mean Girls and the screen is loading onto the menu. I am so excited. It is my all-time favourite for 3 reasons. 1) The fashion is just outrageous and fabulous, 2) Regina is me, I am Regina, We are one and 3) The message is clear that gossip and using it against someone has it's results.

"Can someone go get Dee?" Calum asks. Ashton gives me a suggestive eye-brow raise.

"Why me?" I whine to him, quietly.

"Because it'll be a good chance for you two to talk things out." He knows about how I slapped her and how much I really envy her. Her whole figure is perfect and she doesn't even see it which pisses me off to the max. We've talked about me apologising to her but I just can't find the words to say it. She probably hates me and I wouldn't blame her, after the way I have treated her I would hate myself also, more so than I do. 

Ashton gives me the puppy dogs eyes and nuzzles his head into my neck. His breath against my neck tickles and makes me laugh. How can I say no to those eyes?

"Ugh, fine. I'll go." I announce, rising from my comfortable spot with Ashton. He gives me an innocent smile and I poke my tongue out. That boy has me in too deep. 

I walk out into the hallway and down to the kitchen where I assume she is. I just want to get this over and done with. I see that the table has been cleared successfully and the table cloth has been straightened out perfectly. I make my way to the kitchen area where I do not find Diana washing the dishes. No, they have already been done and put away. I find her on the ground, her back against the wall and her hand holding her phone. I press my back to the wall so I am invisible to her. 

"I miss you so much and I hate it here." Is all I here before the sobbing starts. Does she hate it because she misses her family or because I am giving her grief? The sobbing isn't like anything I've ever heard. It's nothing like when you've scraped your knee against the concrete or when you break up with your boyfriend. No, this is more serious. Like when you've just found out that nearly the whole school hates you and you have no friends. Like how I was not even a year ago. 

My natural instincts kick in and I move into the kitchen and I am exposed. She has not noticed me because she has her head buried in her arms. Her cries have calmed down a bit but she is shaking. I place my hand on her shoulder, a simple act of comfort. 

She was obviously not expecting it because she jerks her head up. Her bloodshot eyes stare into mine with confusion and wonder. All I can do is give her the weakest smile. 

{ diana } 

Why of all people is Shaye here? And why is she being nice? I wouldn't have thought that her personality consisted of kindness. 

"How much of that did you hear?" I ask, avoiding eye contact because I'm scared she'll stare me down. 

"Just the last part." Yeah right, I bet she videoed the whole thing and is ready to upload it to Youtube.