Did She Make It To The Emergency Room ? ( Chris Motionless Fan Fiction)

8

I felt my cheek being poked.

I groaned. "Blaze, wake up beautiful" I heard Ghost whisper, I snuggled closer into him. "But your comfortable" I groaned. "Fine" Ghost mumbled.

~~~~

"Blaze Leah Rowsle!" Ghost shook me.

I opened one eye. "Why the full name !?!?" I groaned. "Up, I let you sleep for 3 more hours, come on I'll get you coffee." he said ignoring my question.

~~~~

"Thanks Ghost, I'll call you later." I said hugging him and kissing his cheek before trudging up to the house, unlocking it & walking in.

"BLAZE !?" I heard dad yell from his study.
"YEAH ITS ME, WHERE'S MUM ?" I shouted back.
"OUT." He yelled back.

Just "out"... That's weird.

I trudged up to my room, not bothering to turn the light on or open the blinds and started to get undress for a shower.

"Please stop." I heard.

"HOLY FUCK !" I shouted.

I turned my light on and Chris was sitting on my bed.
Lucky I had my fucking hoodie on or else it'd be my shirt I took off.

"BLAZE IS EVERYTHING OKAY !?" My dad said from outside the door.

"Uhm yeah I just fell over." I said facing the door.
"Oh okay, I'll be in my study if you need me." He said & I heard him walk away.

"Wha-" I said before I turned around and Chris was kissing me. I kissed back for a second and then shoved him away. "Chris." I sighed. "Don't." He said, leaning back down to kiss me. He stopped right in front of my lips. "I'll fight this with you." he whispered before kissing me, I kissed back. Fuck. Chris pulled away. "Why are you crying ?" He asked wiping at my cheeks. "Get out." I whispered. "Bu-" "GET. OUT." I said through gritted teeth.

How could.... I just... AHHH !
Chris' head hung low as he exited my room. I continued getting undressed, silently crying while doing so. I walked into my bathroom and hopped in the shower. I had half a wall that was all mirror and then a sink on the left wall from it and on the right the shower and then against the opposite wall a bath. I sighed letting the water wash over me, people think I'm crazy because I only turn hot water on, no cold. I like the burning sensation it gives. I breathe in the steam. I know I'm still crying. It hurt. I can't do that to him, I don't care if I survive I can't let him go through me being sick all the time and hardly being able to do anything, I can't exactly tour with him because I'd just stay on the bus most of the time and he'd stay with me when he could be out enjoying himself. I just...I wouldn't cope well, I mean I already miss him, how would I be able to get through tour's. I wouldn't.

Uhg I hate myself.

I looked down at my stomach. Stupid scars. Yes, scars. From surgery, self harm & burning. I know, stupid.
I suffered and ED before I was diagnosed. I'm better now, but then the disease and... Yeah. I looked down at my stomach and punched it. Fuck.
I doubled over and threw up in the shower, I got out and rushed to the toilet where I proceeded to throw up my coffee and dinner from last night. When I finished I hoped back in the shower and washed my hair & body and so on.I got out and wrapped a towel around myself, walking past the mirror to get to the sink I stopped.
I looked at myself. Hollow. That was the only word I could use to describe myself.
Hollow.
I felt anger boil over and I clenched my fists. FUCK MY LIFE. I threw my fists forward, expecting wall but being hit with mirror, my towel dropped & the mirror smashed, pieces flying at me and cutting me. I winced before observing myself, I wrapped the towel around me, blood instantly seeping through.Someone was banging on my door.
"-OU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW BEFO-" I fell and started panicking. My head hurt from hitting the floor. That's all I remember.
Fuck.