Upside Down Tendrils

Chapter Twenty Nine

I didn't have time to respond before I tasted his salty lips on mine. The sweet, tender pressure and his hand on my lower back. I quickly pulled back.
"I'm sorry, Lucas, I can't." I explained, looking down.
He frowned. "Why not? Are you still loyal to that kid that broke your heart?"
I shrugged. "Why would you even care if I was?"
"Obviously I would." He looked flustered.
"Yeah, but why?" I questioned him.
"Because I like you. That's pretty obvious seeing as I just tried to kiss you, don't you think?" He tried to explain kindly, but his voice was rising in anger.
"Well then why are you getting so mad at me if you like me so much?" I asked him, mad myself for stopping the kiss. He was cute, nice, funny. But, in some part of me I didn't want us to be romantic. Because in the end, one of us would have to watch the other die. Or we would break up and everything would be terrible and emotional. I just wanted to be friends. You can depend on friends more than you can your boyfriend. Sometimes.
He sighed and looked down. "Okay. I'm sorry, Emily. But, can I just try to explain myself to you?"
I nodded. "I guess. I mean, if you want to."
"Okay, you might want to sit down for this. It's probably going to be a long explanation." He explained to me.
I nodded again. "I don't know if we'll have enough time."
"That's true. Maybe it is better to meet sometime else." He smiled over at me. "I just didn't want you to get the wrong impression that I was asking you out on a date."
"No it's fine. That's probably a good idea." I shrugged, as if I was absolutely careless. But I wasn't. I was scared. I didn't want to hurt Lucas and wreck our relationship by turning him down. But, I didn't want to be with him either. Because then, somehow, it would just end in heartbreak if I let myself get close to him.
"How about out here at lunch?" He asked.
I nodded. "See you then." I said before turning and walking back into the cafeteria.