Soul Chain [A Ruki Story]

Chapter: 7 Feel

Soul chain:

The second he said this my feet instantly started to move in the direct of the ambulance. It wasn't a run but is want a walk. More a confused wobble like a zombie. 

"Haruka? Where are you going? You ok?" Kai says.

"Where the hell do you think?! I'm going to find Ruki." 

"Haruka... You shouldn't-" reita starts.

"He could be dying! You want me to sit here?" 

This was when I stared to run. Why did I care so much? I mean if anyone was dying I'd feel bad. But I'm rushing to his side. I'm really afraid that he's gonna die. I'm acting so drastically. I slowed to a walk again and thought. I've never felt like this before... It hurts... It hurts to care and love... Did I just say love? There's no way I love a sleaze bag like him... Right? I kept moving again. I finally got to the hospital and asked the desk. 

"Excuse me but is there a Takanori Matsumoto here?" 

The woman looked though a few sheets and then said, 

"Yes, he's in surgery though." 

My heart literally splattered and hit the floor. 

"Surgery?! For what?" 

"Miss, he came in with several vital lacerations to his arms and chest. He's lucky he's not dead." 

"From what cause?"

"You really don't know this person at all do you? These were self inflicted wounds." 

That's when I sat in the waiting room. 

"You really don't know this person at all do you?" 

Those horrid words kept playing in my head. I wanted to break the record and say that this isn't like Ruki at all, but the truth is that I really don't know what "like Ruki" is.

If he's been suicidal all this time... Why wouldn't he have told someone? She's right... I don't know anything about Ruki... Nothing...

"Haruka!" I hear from the door. I realize that id been thinking about this and waiting for word about Ruki for 4 hours. It's getting dark outside and the person yelling for me at the door was Satoshi. 

"Why are you hear? Your mother is worried sick and it's getting late!" 

"Ruki's hurt." 

"How'd I guess this would be about him."

I really was not in the mood for a lecture and really not wanted to talk to him about Ruki.

"What the hell did he do this time? Does he have STD? Is the poor baby sick?" 

"Look if your gonna make fun of someone who's dying then you can go fuck yourself. I'm not in the mood to argue with you and in sure as hell not gonna explain myself to you..."

"Why does he matter to you? What makes him so great? You'd rather be with someone who wants nothing more then to us you and hurt you?" 

"Yes! I want him over and snot nosed asshole like you! Because he's the only one who's ever shown the slighted interest in me! He's protected me and stuck up for me! He knows my mistakes before I do, and one of then was being stupid enough to fall for someone like you!" 

He's silent for a minute. 

"Miss? Your here for mister Matsumoto?" 

"Yes." I reply to the nurse. I follow her and leave Satoshi there. I had nothing else to say to him, not did I want to see him anymore. I had to many other things to think about.

She let's me in a room and there he was. Nothing inside. Just him and his hospital bed. If you count his monitors and many other gadgets making sure that he was still alive, then there were those too. I figured to see him parents or someone, but it's just me... 

I think about the last time he saw me. The last time we spoke. 

"If you really do know me, Haruka, then you know I'm telling the truth.

I'm not gonna let other guys hurt you... Because I know of all people what it's like to be betrayed by the people you thought you knew..." 

If you really know me... So I know anything about you? Can I say I know there is something you wouldn't do?

I slowly walked to his bed side. His arms outside his covers looked like a monster had been sown together out of other bodies. He had so many stitches...

 His black and red hair hangs in his face. I gently brush It to the side to see his smudged eyelids. That she I saw the other series of sutures along his chest and collar bone. I actually felt my tears. He really did wanna die...

His eyes flickered and then opened. He stared at the ceiling and then looks slowly over to me. 

"I'm glad your face is the first one I get to see." He smiled. I lost it when he said that. I couldn't be strong anymore, not even for him. My head fell on his abdomen and I sobbed my eyes out. 

"Jeez, I'm not dead yet Haruka." He says.

"Shut up! Just shut up! You wanted to be! Or you wouldn't be here! Do you have any idea how stupid that was!"

"I didn't think you cared that much." 

"Well I do!" 

"I'm glad..."

"W-what?" 

His eyes seemed to have a certain kind of sincereness that I hadn't seen before. 

"I'm glad that someone cared."

"Of course." 

"I thought that no one care if I died Haruka. But you proved-" 

"How could you be so selfish? Would anyone care? It's all about you! What about me?! What if you would have died! What would happens to me? I'd go on living knowning that anything I ever did was never good enough for you." 

He stares at me blankly. I was still crying. I was about to hyperventilate actually. He just keeps staring at me. He wraps

Me in his arms and I can hear him moan in pain from his arms but he doesn't let go. 

"I'm sorry... I-I'm sorry Haruka..."

That when I notice he's crying too. I gently hug him too and say, 

"I'm sorry too. I wish I really knew you." 

"No one knows me... And I'm scared to let people in, but...

I wanna try... I lock my emotions up and don't let anyone in. I'm stubborn and sensitive. But gently with me and patient too. I want you to know me... I want to know you too Haruka... Because now I know... This is what love feels like..."

Next chapter: Sensei