Thugged Out 4: Real Life

THIRTY ONE- Men

"You say you care but you don't care like how I care and that's fucked up. And what hurts the most is you don't want my love. My love, no. Can't explain men. Say what you wanna hear, they will." -Tink

SHAI

What Majesty said to me is lingering in my brain. I just left my job but I couldn't even focus because it bothered me so much. First, he told me that I was just his something to do after I scared his ugly bitch Ashley away. Then, he started to play mind games with me by asking me to stay. After that, he told me I better figure out what I'm going to do as far as my husband. All of this has my head spinning. Should I just cut him and his craziness off  altogether, go home, and act as if nothing  ever happened? This is something that I can't decide on.

My phone starts ringing. I sigh. It's Majesty calling me for the eighth time today. I haven't answered. I take a deep breath then answer. "Shaiann, what the fuck you ain't answering yo gotdamn phone for, bi... I mean... mane, why you didn't pick  up?" he goes off on me. "Hello to you too, Majesty. Did you just almost call me a bitch?" I ask, rolling my eyes. "It was an accident but almost don't count, Shai." he answers.

"Almost does count. Watch your mouth. I'm done allowing you to get away with whatever you want. Go call that slut bitch Ashley a bitch." I say. I'm still upset with him for that. I was hiding  under Noble's bed while he constantly talked  crap about me because he knew I couldn't retaliate or snitch to Majesty simply because Drew was in the house and I didn't want to risk being  caught.

"Watch yo mouth. Ashley ain't no slut or no bitch." he says, seeming serious. "Wow, are you truly defending this whore right now? What's it going to be?  Are you choosing that bitch or me?" I ask. He gets quiet. "Shai... you already know who I'm choosing, babygirl. I choose her." he says, shattering  my heart.

"That's all I wanted to know." I say, holding back my tears. "We can't do this shit. She said she'll fuck with me again but you  gotta be out the picture. Sorry it gotta be this way." he says. "You are not fucking sorry for shit, bitch ass nigga! You aren't sorry for anything! You don't care about me or my feelings! All you want to do is play stupid games with me! The shit ends  now! I see your true colors and you can go to hell! Why would you lead me on like that? What made me fall deep in love with you is all of the shit that you said and did to and for me when nobody was looking! You treated me like your woman and you  know it so do not ever blame me for  catching feelings and believing you felt the same! Why would you even play me like this?" I scream  at him, bursting into tears.

"Why you crying, Shai? I always told you we couldn't be more than maybe friends. Nobody knew why but Ashley is the reason. I didn't want you trying to be my girl when I knew I already had that behind closed doors. The shit I did for you  is nothing but everything Ashley get from me is real. Shai, what the fuck have you done for me? What did you  bring to the table?" he asks me. I'm so speechless right now.

"Exactly. You ain't got shit to say now. Ashley do so damn much for me. She listen to me, she cook for me, she pray for me, she showing me shit about life I never knew about, and she been helping me learn more about God and become closer to him. But what the hell have you done that'll top that shit? What, you think a nigga want yo ass cause you open yo legs and mouth when I'm horny? Mane, you just a fuck to me." he says.

I hang up the phone. I can't take anymore. I'm so hurt right now. All I can do is cry. That bitch isn't half of what I am. First, Drew broke my heart and now Majesty. What makes the situation worse with Majesty is that I got pregnant with his children and aborted them out of fear but mainly to keep him happy because I felt like that was the last thing he would want, I was there for him every single day following the bad car accident in Las Vegas when he could barely do anything for himself, and I have always done what he told me to do because I fell in love with him. I bet that Ashley whore doesn't even love or appreciate him and she's the one he chooses all because she knows how to throw a Bible at him and make him believe in something. Anybody could do that.