Thugged Out 4: Real Life

EIGHTEEN- Trouble In Paradise

For all you weird mfs who CONSTANTLY copy my mf shit while u be fake and continuously comment on it, y'all got  me fucked up. BE CREATIVE ON YOUR FUCKING OWN. And damn, if u gon' copy my shit, at least make it look good 🙄 I don't appreciate that shit. I should've just left the damn book off of here like it was when I took it down instead of trying to be nice about  the shit. Fuck all that. Y'all copying bitches  act like y'all can't be caught. Y'all know who y'all are. Either delete my shit or imma get it deleted like I did the other bitches' shit. It ain't my damn fault u bitches have no creativity. That ain't no form of admiring me or being inspired by me so don't even say that bullshit  if u STEALING some shit I work hard on.

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"Love me even if it rain. Love me even if it pain you. I know I be difficult. You know I be difficult. You know it get difficult too." - SZA

CRUISE DAY 7: FUN DAY AT SEA

REIGN

I just woke up. I rub my eyes then sit up, looking around. My eyes land on the Space Jam Jordan 11s that are sitting neatly beside the bed. I get out of the bed then look down at myself. I'm in a long ass Yves Saint Laurent T-shirt with nothing underneath. This ain't mine. The bathroom door opens up. Qua walks out  of there fully dressed in some black cotton shorts that I can see his dick print in and a black and white destroyed Givenchy T-Shirt but he doesn't have any shoes on, just socks. I watch him in silence as he puts his black Audemars Piguet watch with the diamonds on his wrist. Damn, Qua must be getting some big money for him to be able to afford that. Even with all the money my dad throws my way, I will not get nothing that costs at least one hundred thousand dollars unless my daddy buys it for me. I'm almost positive he paid more than that for his based on how new it is plus all of the diamonds.

"Hi." I mumble, waving a little. I don't fully remember last night but I remember bits and pieces of it. He ignores me then walks over to the bed. I watch in silence as he puts his Jordans on his feet. "Hello?" I mumble, waving. "Are you not talking to me because I threw my drink in your face? I'm sorry. I was wrong." I admit. I never should've done that at all. He looks at me then folds his arms across his chest. Damn, he's standing here the way my dad does when he's pissed off at me.

"Um, is there a problem?" I ask, still trying to fully rememeber how I even ended up in his bed. "Go brush that morning breath out of your mouth then come talk to me." he demands. I roll my eyes at him as I walk in his bathroom. My dress from last night is neatly folded up and sitting on his counter with my panties and bra sitting on top of it. Even my diamond tennis bracelet is with it. I smell clean. I don't even remember showering though.

I just finished brushing my teeth with a different spare toothbrush I didn't use. Qua is a neat freak. He brought a whole pack of spare toothbrushes and thoroughly cleaned each one of them. I've never met a man so neat in my life. Everything about him is always so clean.

I look at myself in the mirror then frown. I need to do better. I can see the stress all in my face. I don't feel good about myself. I remember feeling stupid and trying not to cry when I saw Drew and Shai acting like nothing ever happened between them. I didn't show it but it did upset me a little, so I did what I always do when I start beating myself up and blaming myself. I went and rolled me a fat Backwood and got high as hell with Miguel while we both vented about our nigga issues. Then, I remember us going back to the room and him falling asleep first. I left the room and went to the bar in the casino to get drunk. After that, I don't even know all I did.

I take my hair down then frown, just staring at myself. People always tell me how beautiful I am but I don't even see it right now. I'm a fucking mess and no matter what I do, I always make shit harder for myself when I'm trying to make myself feel better. I just refuse to cry right now. It's my fault I'm always hurting anyways. When I try to fix myself, I end up breaking myself even further down.