Negans weakness

Chapter 46

          I was in my room sleeping in my hard yet kind of comfy bed when all of a sudden I shot up to somebody banging on my metal door. I got up and reached for the knife that was under my mattress (that Negan still doesn't know about)  and ready for whatever was behind that door.
         What the h*ll is happening out there that they had to bang on my door at 5:00 in the morning? I thought as I slowly approached the door with the knife out in front of me. I went up to the doorknob and unlocked it as quietly as possible. I then wrapped my hand around my cold metal door handle and slowly twisted it open.
        I peaked through the crack and see Negan all dressed up in his black leather jacket and his dark jeans with Lucille over his shoulder. And he is doing the leaning back thing he always does for some unknown reason. I look at him and he is smiling down on me with that signature smile of his.
           "Rise and shine sweetheart!" He says louder than he needed to be this early in the morning. I took a deep sign in relief knowing that it wasn't anything serious. "What the h*ll do you want this early in the morning?" I ask frustrated. "Not a morning person I see... I need you to come with me to some of the houses and cars that we missed on our last run."
         "Why can't you just have one of your guys do it?" I questioned. He smirks "Because of the little deal that we made." He winks at me and I roll my eyes remembering about our agreement."
         I take a deep sigh in frustration "Okay, just give me a minute to get dressed." Negan scans by body and stops some where near my torso and started licking his lips. I look down to see what he is staring at and realized that I am only wearing a tank top and underwear. I can feel my face heating up as I shifted my weight. I quickly looked back up at him and he was already looking away, staring to the side of my door. 
             "I'll be out in a bit." I hurry up and say as I quickly shut my door. I walked over to my bed and put the knife back under my mattress and sit on my bed. I run my fingers through my thick hair in frustration.
          Negan just saw me in my underwear I thought totally flabbergasted. But what surprised me even more is that Negan was kind of respectful about the whole situation. Granted he did look down there in the first place but he looked away without me yelling at him. I just hope it's not going to be awkward for the rest of the trip.
            When I finally got totally ready I walked out of my room and saw Negan leaning on the was with his feet crossed swinging Lucille around. When he saw me get out of my room he put his hand on the wall and pushed himself up and started walking towards the stairs without saying a word which I was grateful for.
            When we got outside his truck was already ready to go. He got in as I checked to make sure that they put my bow and arrow in the back. Once I saw my bow I opened up the passenger door and was about to get in when I  saw the stained blood, my blood. I just stood there for a second thinking back to that awful day. The blood stains was all over the seats.                   You could tell somebody tried to scrub some of it off but that obviously didn't work. "Sh*t I'm sorry, we can get another truck if you want." He said startling me. I shook my head before I spoke "No, I'm fine." I say not taking my eyes off of the seats.
          I finally snapped out of it and I climbed into the truck and shut the passenger door shut behind me. He sat there for a second before he started the truck letting the engine roar to life. He moves the gear to drive then pulls off out of the gates.
        I put my feet up on the dirty dash and just tried to relax. " I was so scared that day...I thought I was going to loose you and it would be all my fault." He said breaking the silence. I just kept on looking forward not knowing what to do or what to say. "Your going to need a lot more that a shotgun to kill me." I say smirking trying to add some relief to this whole convocation. He smirks and just nods his head.
         "Why don't you let me have my bow and arrow." I ask trying to let it not get awkward again. "I do." He says confusingly. "No, I mean like having it with me all the time and it staying in my room."   
        "Why?" He asked confusingly. "Because it's mine." I say bluntly. "Huh... Sure I mean you have had plenty of chances to kill me by know but you didn't. But I'm sure you have definitely thought about it." I chuckle at how true that is.
          I have wanted to kill him countless times but I knew that if I cut off the head of the snake two more will grow in it's place. And I do not have the man power to take down two more.      But now, I don't know somethings different with him that makes me really not want him to die. He as definitely changed. And it's a change I can get used to.
          "Do you have the doctor ready for when we get back." I say chuckling. He chuckled with me and shakes his head. "Not funny." He says but continues to chuckle. "Just a little bit."