Love Thy Neighbor

Chapter 12

Eight days have passed since our failed second date. Shawn and I have not spoken. Or texted. Or run into each other in the hall. We're obviously avoiding each other.

I make a point to hang with Liz and Jules a few times just to get out and to keep myself from sulking at home. It does not stop me from sulking when I am actually at home.

Like tonight.

It's a snowy Saturday night I am sitting in my living room watching Sense and Sensibility while drinking hot cocoa. I've seen it 100 times, so I multitask by browsing my phone as watch.

On IG I see that Shawn posted a pic with his friends. They are in his condo and appear to be partying. The time stamp says it was an hour ago. I guess he's entertaining. I feel a weird pang of envy. I'd like to be across the hall drinking something strong while admiring the snow fall in the financial district. With him.

I try to shake off what I am feeling by focusing on the movie. Jane Austen certainly knew about situations like mine. She knew what it felt like to never have a romance work out.

I wake up with a start. My TV is still on but the movie is over. I stand and stretch. Grabbing my cocoa cup and popcorn bowl, I walk into the kitchen and put both in the dishwasher. I then grab my phone off the coffee table, switch off the TV and lights, and stumble to my bedroom.

When I go to look at the time on my phone, I see that I've received several texts in the last ten minutes. All from Shawn.

Shawn: I want to talk to you. We need to talk.

Shawn: Jess...

Shawn: Fuck, you are asleep.

It's 1:30 AM. I'm exhausted. But I can't not respond.

Me: I'm awake.

Shawn: Hi.

Me: Hey.

Shawn: Can I come over?

Shawn: To talk.

Shawn: God, that sounded like a booty call.

Me: Are you drunk?

Shawn: ...

Shawn: Not drunk.

Me: Really?

Shawn: Just a little. But not drunk, drunk.

Me: Not ideal for talking.

Shawn: Jess. Please.

Me: Coffee tomorrow? When you wake up?

Shawn: K. See you then.

Shawn: But I'd rather see you now.

I don't respond.

The next day, I hear a knock at my door at 7:30 AM, which is much earlier than I expected. I am up, however, so it is no big deal. Actually, it's not that I am 'up.' I never went down. I was awake all night trying to figure out what I wanted to say.