Love Thy Neighbor

Chapter 27

A month later, we're in bed, my head on Shawn's chest, his hand stroking my bare back.

He's been in and out of Toronto because of promotional work, but every night he's been here, we've spent together.

He'd missed Valentine's Day, which was no big deal to me but upsetting to him. I tried to convince him that between the flowers being delivered to work, the chocolates being delivered that night, and the romantic card I got in the mail, he'd made up for the fact that he was in Los Angeles.

He insisted that we redo Valentine's Day when he returned, so here we were after a fancy dinner, laying in a bed covered with rose petals, a lovely new bracelet on my wrist. Shawn is all about big gestures. I loved it, but was a tad worried where a stray petal might end up.

"Are you nervous about the album?" I ask him, because he seems extra contemplative.

"Yes. I just want it to be better than the others. I want each one to be better than the last."

I stroke the patch of hair on his breast bone with my fingertips. "That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself."

"I don't know how to be any other way," he says. "Once the album is released, I'll start obsessing about the tour."

The tour.

Shawn starts touring in the fall. He'll be on tour for well over a month, come back for three weeks around Christmas, and then resume the tour. He will have a couple weeks off here and there, but essentially he's on the road for over seven months.

I try not to think about it. For one thing, it's really far off. There's no reason to make myself miserable worrying about it for the next seven and a half months.

"You should come on tour with me," Shawn says.

"I can't. School."

He lets it drop like he always does. He's suggested me going half a dozen times. I guess he thinks I will eventually change my mind.

It's not that I don't want to go with him. It really does sound exciting, but I have commitments.

I also don't know where Shawn and I will be, relationship-wise, come November. What if I decide now to defer grad school because things are great, and then we break-up in September? It would be too late at that point. I'd lose a full year of school since this program isn't one you can jump into second semester.

My feeling is that if we make it to the tour and if we can handle the time apart, then we're meant to be. If things fall apart before then or while we he's on the road, then obviously we weren't.

"I should get up," I say, trying to get out of the firm hold he has on me, "my mom booked an early flight. They could be at my door within the next hour or so."

"Ten more minutes," Shawn says, pulling me tighter. It's never ten minutes, but I give in anyway.

Later that morning, I'm on my couch waiting for everyone to arrive. It's Elsie's birthday, so they flew here at my sister's request. I would have flown home, since her birthday conveniently falls on a weekend, but she loves Toronto. I think she also knew she'd definitely see Shawn if they came to me.

I look over social media. The initial shock of our relationship has simmered down a bit, but we're still a big topic among his fans. They are divided about me. No one has any reason to hate me (other than the fact that I have what they want) so the nasty fans focus on my physical flaws. It bugs me, but I am working on letting it go.

Many of his fans claim to love us together. They post and repost the handful of pictures of us together that are public. Thousands have tried to follow me.